I WIN......ONCE AGAIN!!!!!

Are there any other wives out there that can sympathise with me?.....Anyone?.....

So here is the story. Out here in good old Indiana, they put the electrical boxes right in the front yard. I guess they think that they are beautiful and will give character to your landscaping. So....I decided that I wanted to put in a new flower bed around it and plant a bunch of grasses to cover them up. So I did the proper thing and had the utility company come out and mark all the wires so that we wouldn't kill ourselves.

So, my good husband decides to get a head start on ripping up the sod by using our neighbors rototiller (sorry we broke into your garage, Ryan and Carrie).....yes, against my wishes. He assures me that he has worked with all kinds of electrical when he used to be an electrician, and also when he did excavation work. Basically - "Auughh, it's all right, honey. I can take care of this one!"....attitude. So - whatever. He set to work.

And the pictures say it all........yes, he is repairing the AT&T phone line that he totally cut in two!!! Auughhh!! SO - needless to say.....once again.....I WIN, CHRIS!!!! I need to start recording all of these wins that I have been getting lately. I am getting quite good, and he is doing quite a good job at giving me reasons to gloat!!!

Anyway, luckily I have a VERY handy husband with many, many talents and he put it all back together! Yes Chris, I still love you completely....but let's just let everyone know right now.....I WIN!!! (wink, wink)

Beautiful Karleigh Ann

Today has been a day of remembrance of our sweet Karleigh. It was three years ago today that she passed away. We had a good day remembering her beautiful smile, curly hair, and sweet personality. She brought us so much joy and taught us more in her 2 1/2 years than we ever thought possible.

I am a firm believer that blessings come in mysterious ways. For three years now, we have thought that we didn't have any videos of her - not one. It has been an extremely hard thing to swallow because I wanted so badly to see her smile in action - not just on a picture.

Last night, Chris and I watched a little video slide show of our kids that my little sister, Joy, put together for us for Christmas. Afterwards, Chris made a comment about how we needed to get our old videos copied onto disks. Then I commented back about how it sure would be nice to have some of Karleigh. He then said that he thought that we might have some. I was in total shock, and knew I would not be able to sleep until I found out. So, needless to say, I found all of the old tapes and found a lot of different clips of Karleigh on them! All the way from her first bath in the hospital, to the Christmas before she passed away - 2004. I was so excited that I had to call my mom and dad at 11:30 PM and tell her the good news. I then stayed up until 2:30 to go through all of the tapes - scouring them for even brief moments of Karleigh!

My mom said that she had just gotten done saying her nightly prayers and had asked that Chris and I be comforted on this day. Then she got the call from me saying that I had found the tapes! Talk about an answer to your prayers! These were the best present I could have and have comforted me so much through this day. We honestly did not think that we had ANY videos of Karleigh. Why it took us three years to figure it out, only Heavenly Father knows. But I firmly believe that He knows what we need WHEN we need it. And He knew that I needed these tapes at this time. I think I probably have an even greater appreciation for them now than I would have a while ago. So tonight for Family Night, we sat on the couch and went through her videos as a family.

What a joy it was to see her smiling face, to hear her voice and to look into her shining eyes again. What an amazing girl she is. She went through so much, yet was so happy despite sickness and pain. I look up to this sweet spirit and can't wait until I am reunited with her again. She helped me grow in more ways than I will ever be able to express. She helped me have a better perspective on life and have a better appreciation for all I have. I look at her struggling to just hold her head up. How blessed we/I am that I have been blessed with a body that functions properly. How blessed I am to know that she will have a perfect body someday. How blessed I am to have been given the wonderful opportunity to be her mother and to care for such a perfect Daughter of God for a brief time.

I miss her terribly, but have been comforted in many ways throughout this week. From pictures of the flowers coming up in front of her headstone, to supportive calls from my mom, siblings, friends, and beautiful heart-felt gifts from dear friends. I thank everyone for their continued support in helping us deal with the pain that sometimes feels almost unbearable. You all make it so I can get through these times and I am eternally grateful for each of you. I hope someday I can return the kindness that you all have shown to me. I love all of you.

I love you, Karleigh and pray that I will live my life in such a way that we will be together forever.

This is a story that describes Chris and my feelings about our time with Karleigh and dealing with her disabilities. In reality, her disabilities were what gave her the ability to touch so many lives - especially ours. This story can also be related to many things in our life, regardless if we have a child with special needs.

Welcome to Holland
by
Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around… and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills… and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.

Apple Blossoms

This blog is kind of turning into my journal in a way. So if you are reading this today, you will need to bear with me as I get some feelings out. I have a lot of mixed emotions these days.

This is the apple tree in our front yard when we lived in CO. This tree was absolutely beautiful when it was in full bloom! The dark pink buds all over the tree are beautiful, but then when they all open up to these pale pink flowers, it is a sight to behold.

This tree symbolizes many different things to me. It gives the hope that a long cold winter will soon be over. It reminds me of the beautiful nature all around me. It symbolizes to me of how each of us are like these little tiny buds - beautiful in our own way. But then when we humbly let our Father in Heaven mold us into what he knows we can become, then we turn into something amazing!

Lastly, these flowers are a symbol to me of the great gift we have all been given through our Savior's sacrifice. We have all been given the opportunity to be resurrected after we leave this earth. And it will be in a perfect body.

This tree had buds all over it the day that we held Karleigh's funeral. It was an amazing day as we said our last goodbye's to our sweetheart. It was a hard day for sure, but a day of peace. When we came home, this is how our apple tree appeared. Beautiful pale, pink flowers all over it! The buds had opened up that day! It was such a comfort to me that a loving Heavenly Father would give me one last thing that day to bring me comfort - and that was in the form of a pale pink flower - Karleigh's color. I will be ever grateful for that.

I remember my dad was standing there with me and I said something like, "Dad, the tree bloomed today! Look how beautiful it is!" He put his arm around me, gave me a big hug and with tears in his eyes said, "Of course it did, Tracy. Of course it did."

Happy Birthday, Chloe!!!

Today is Chloe's birthday!! Has it really been 2 years already?!?! The time sure has flown by! This little Chloe Hope has been such a blessing in our life! Little did she know when she was born (or did she?) that she had a big mission in front of her - to give her Mom and Dad some hope to carry on and much needed cuddle time. She truly has done just that!

This sweet little girl was born April 5th, 2006. She was 6 lb. 14 oz. and 20 in. long. She had black curly hair and was the sweetest little baby. She only cried when she was hungry or needed a diaper change. I prayed so long and hard that our next baby would be healthy and easy to care for. That prayer has been answered time and time again.

This adorabe, blue eyed little angel is my little buddy. I have a hard time leaving her. Chloe is all girl and loves to try make-up and get her hair fixed. I have been fixing her hair since she was a day old (it was an inch long when she was born!), so she is totally used to it and loves it. She absolutely adores Chris and Zach and is learning how to play rough with them. She is talking very well and is a super smart little girl.

We couldn't have asked for a sweeter spirit to come into our home. She is truly our Chloe HOPE and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father that he trusts me enough to care for his precious child. It truly is an honor to be her mother and I hope that I will do a good job raising her. Heavenly Father knows just what we need when we need it - and Chloe was just what I needed at this time in my life story! I love you, Chloe Hope!

Photo Shoot

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the kids photo shoot last Saturday. I am not quite sure what is up with the layout on this...but oh well. I remember telling my mom after Zach was born that I had the ablsolute cutest kid(s) in the world! But then I caught myself and said, "But I bet you thought that yours were the absolute cutest too, huh!" Of which she replied, "YEP!" So, I know that I totally think that my kids are the cutest, and you parents out there think that yours are the absolute cutest! That is the way it is supposed to be!! I hope you all are having fun with your absolutely cute kids!

Clean up on isle 13!!!!

Can I just say, I am sure glad there was not a cashier and customer on isle 14 at Wal-Mart tonight!!! Here is the story....

The kids and I went to Wal-Mart this afternoon to get Chloe some Motrin for her fever. We got a few groceries and a few other items, and headed to the check-out in isle 13. I unloaded my cart on the belt thing and then went to the front to start loading my groceries. The cashier rung up my milk and put it on top of the bagging carousel. If you can recall, the bagging carousel is in a triangular shape. Well - the cashier decided that 4 gallons of milk would fit nicely up on top of it.

So, here I am trying to help out and get my milk out of the way and into my cart for more groceries to be loaded. As I grabbed for the milk container, it totally slipped off and went crashing to the floor before I could grab it. And yes, guess what happened!!!! MILK EVERYWHERE!!! I am not even exaggerating!!! It sprayed the entire side and belt thing and cash register of isle 14, went all over the floor, some went on my cashier, and the rest was just pouring out of the milk container in a big puddle!!

I could not believe it! I was SO embarrassed. But then, to make it worse, the cashier is totally laughing at the top of her lungs so everyone and their dog could tune in to what was happening. She then picks up the intercom on her phone and announces - "Clean up in isle 13...(pause)...and...(pause)...bring a mop!

Oh, can I just say.....Wal-Mart is not my favorite place in the world! It was quite funny to see milk sprayed all over the checkout in the next isle. I am SO grateful no one was there because they literally would have been drenched in milk! Could you imagine!! Checking out with a load of groceries, or a baby in your cart, or nicely dressed on your way to an event - and then getting a milk shower!! aauugghh! I felt bad for the janitor that had to clean it up. Luckily, she was quite nice about the whole thing! Poor lady!

As we walked to the back corner of the store to get another gallon of milk (the lady charged me for it and told me to go get another gallon), I was asking Zach if that was totally embarrassing. I could totally tell he was thoroughly embarrassed, but was trying to be nice. He said, "I don't know". I started laughing and told him it was kind of funny and he could tell everyone about the most embarrassing day he had while shopping with his mom! Where is the camera when you need it!

Anybody else have any nice embarrassing stories they want to share?.....

Have a great week!

Happy Easter!!

The Easter Bunny came to our house! Did he come to yours?
Such cute kids!!


Trying to find some "Easter Bunny Eggs"


Chloe was so proud of
herself for doing her own Easter Egg!

Not quite sure what this is about....
just Zach being Zach!!! Funny Boy!!!

Another fun weekend!!!

TJ's husband and I planned a surprise weekend getaway (small, but tons of fun) for TJ! She has been long overdue for a break, and how could I pass up another trip to see Wicked again!! I was pretty proud of myself navigating around Chicago like I had lived there forever! We did a little window shopping, ate at a yummy Italian restaurant, saw the show, and then drove back home! We got home about 4 in the morning!!! So fun!

But then.....I got to get up a couple hours later and take a small number of my Young Women (and YM) down to the temple in Louisville, KY to do baptisms. Luckily, my home teacher offered to drive my van home! I was more exhausted that I have felt in a long, long time!!! But the entire weekend was worth it!
Just a handful of my girls....

Most of the other girls had school functions and couldn't make it. We still had a good time though!

And the 3rd place goes to.....

Zachary!!! Fabulous job!!!

Welcome to the world!!!

Everyone please welcome the newest addition to the Clay family! My sister, Julianne and husband, Ryan, just gave birth to their first baby on March 12th! He weighed 8 lb. 15 oz and was 21 inches long and is absoluetly adorable!

Here are the proud parents!!! Good job, guys! He is beautiful!!!

The New Boss!!!

Well - all of Chris's co-workers have a new boss! Yep - HIM!!! Chris got a promotion to be the Implementation Manager at work! He is still fazing out of his old job and doing the new one on top of it. He is completely swamped and totally stressed! I wish I could help take some of it for him and make things easier on him. I am grateful for his hard work and for all he does to take care of his family! He is wonderful! I will try to get a picture of him up soon.....that is, if he is ever around to get one taken!!!

B-ball teams looses - Family wins!!!

So, tonight Zach's basketball team lost to one of the hardest teams on the league. They did a great job and Zach scored one point! But I could really tell that Zach has had enough by this....

His team was running down for defense.....that is....all except Zach! He was drugingly dragging his feet as he WALKED down to the other end of the court - complete with the eyes rolling back in his head. The expression on his face was....."aren't we done yet?!?!" That was all until his coach yelled out to him to run and get to the other end and help his team. Totally funny! Then, his coach had him sit out for the last quarter and he wanted to come and put his coat on before the game was even over! In fact - he asked for his coat right at the beginning of the 4th quarter! Being the totally mean mom I am, I made him go sit back on the sidelines and finish the game out.

Well - so much for that experience! He totally wanted to do basketball when we signed up and in the beginning of the season. I guess he is feeling like it is just not his thing! That's fine with me. We just want him to get some exposure to different activities. He totally loved wrestling, so we might just stick with that.

I have been feeling pretty frazzled the last two and a half months! Basketball started in January and wrestling started in February. I know there needs to be a balance in everything and I really tried hard to keep things together while we were so busy with Zach's sports. I have realized that these are not that important in the long scheme of things. I think Zach even has noticed that too. Tonight when he offered the blessing on the food for dinner, he thanked Heavenly Father that we will now have more time to spend together as a family. Such a sweet boy. He is a great kid and I am excited to just relax at home more in the evenings with my darling kids!

In church, the talk given at General Conference by Elder Dallin H. Oaks (Good, Better, Best) has been talked about quite a lot. I think it is for very obvious reasons. I just re-read it last night and encourage you all to read it. Here is the link.... http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-775-38,00.html Hopefully that will work. If not, go to www.lds.org and look up the Oct. 2007 Sunday afternoon session and it will be in there. He talks about how there are many good things we can be doing with our time. But we need to make sure we are doing the best things, not just the good things. We have to choose wisely what things our family will participate in, making sure that we give highest priority to what the family needs. We also need to be making sure we are teaching our kids how to be strong in the gospel by what we spend our time doing.

Anyway - I am grateful for a break in sports and for the time that I now have to sit and teach to and learn from my kids and hubby. Hopefully now, dinners will be more healthy and not a quick PB&J! I just want so badly to do what is best for my kids and to raise them to know that they are loved more than anything and that they are special! My family is the most important thing to me and I love being a mom!!!

Is it blond or brown?....

Many people have commented on my "blond" hair. It really is still brown - just a light brown. I think it looked a lot lighter up against Megan's dark hark. But I am not sure I am liking it. I got it re-highlighted just before my trip, and it was kind of a disaster! I had to have her re-fix it twice, and it is still not wonderful. Luckily, Megan is my CO hairstylist, so she fixed my extremely awful haircut, but we didn't have time for her to fix the color (just what she wanted to do on her vacation)! She works wonders with my hair! It was about 4-5 inches longer just about 2 weeks ago! I am still trying to adjust to it! Anyway....that is my hair drama! But thanks to everyone for the compliments!

Basketball boy!!!

Zach has been playing basketball since January, and wrestling since February. He is doing really well at both, but prefers wrestling over basketball. I am proud of him for trying his best and sticking with it! Good job, Zach!!!

The wrestling video is the end of a match that he won. The videos of him doing more maneuvers on the other kid were too big to put on here, so I will try to get them shrunk down and post it. Anyway - I just thought his face was cute when he got to run over to get his award.

The wrestling is put on by the high school wrestling team. The high school boys teach the kids all the moves and at the end of the clinics, they get to do a little tournament. It is a lot of fun and there are tons of boys that do it. Chris loves watching Zach and then practicing with him when they get home. (yes, Chris used to wrestle) I just think it looks like a bunch of boys rough-housing! That's ok - at least he is having fun!

Anything up there?....

Chloe seems to like to do this quite often these days.....

What a fun weekend!!

Let me just start out by saying that a weekend getaway for mom's are an absolute must!!! Believe it or not, I have never gotten away on a "girlfriend" trip and was long overdue for one! Chris has never had all the kids (all 2 of them!) by himself for an overnight and weekend! We decided to be brave and just do it! I am grateful for my husband being so supportive and letting me have a break and doing such a wonderful job with the kids. I wouldn't think he would do anything otherwise b/c he is the absolute best dad - but I am a mom and I worry about my kids! That is part of my job description!!

My wonderful friend, Megan, flew out from CO on Thursday! We haven't seen each other since last summer when our family went back to CO for our family vacation. We attended Time Out for Women, put on my Deseret Book. I am so grateful for all the speakers that were there and for the messages they shared! I really needed that spiritual boost! And definetely so thankful that Megan decided to leave her cute boys and come all the way out here to good old Indiana!

Megan and me with Hilary Weeks, one of my favorite LDS singer/songwriters! (Note: Yes, I know I look pregnant - but I am not!)
We met up with my neighbor, Carrie and her "Chicago friends" for dinner at Red Light. I think it is Thai food - but not sure. We even had to flag down a cab to get to the restaruant! It is a big deal to me b/c I have never done that!!! Luckily, Megan was the brave one!

AND.... We got to go see WICKED!!! So much fun!! It is an awesome play!

I have a blog...finally!!!

I decided that I would finally start a blog to keep track of fun things my family and I do, and also as a place to keep in touch with friends and family. Hopefully I can completely figure this thing out so that I will use it often. Make sure to send me a message if you visit!!