Today's Tender Mercy...

I want to write this down because I know how my brain works....I forget things!!

Today while Chloe was at preschool, Parker and I went over to a friends house from the ward to help do some painting. She is trying to get her house ready to put up on the market so they can move soon. Parker was super patient and happy as usual playing with toys. This friend asked me to tell her about Karleigh - her story and then I ended up telling her about how she died, etc. She had a genuine interest, and for some reason today, I felt in the mood to talk about her. Usually I don't mind because I like to keep her memory alive and share her life with others. It helps me deal with my loss easier. Sometimes though, when people are just asking for the sake if being nosey and have no real interest in caring about what you are saying - that is when I don't share as much. Anyway - we talked as we prepped the room for painting. I got through most all of it without tears, until we got to the "how it ended" portion. That is always the hardest part to share. But I did, and I am glad that I did. It helps me to get it out.

It was finally Parker's eating/nap time, so I went into the other room to feed him and put him down for a nap. All of my kids have something in common - they are either really cranky or just plain hyper before bed. Usually it is the hyper and wild side, which is so much better than the cranky!! Parker decided he needed to be wild for a few minutes and wanted to play.

As we sat in the other room, he was laying down in my arms and I was tickling him. He has a tendency to hold his laugh in and only let it out sometimes. As I was tickling his neck, he started laughing harder and harder. All the sudden, his laugh totally and completely caught me off gaurd! I stopped for a second and thought to myself, "That sounded just like Karleigh's laugh! No, it couldn't have! He has never sounded quite like that before!" So I started tickling him again and again. And he did the same laugh - over and over! I started crying as I tickled and smiled at him. It only lasted for about 30 - 60 seconds, but it was a little piece of Heaven - literally!! I wanted him to keep doing it over and over, but he soon tired of it and wanted to just eat and go to sleep. I have tried to get him to laugh like that again during the day, but he just laughs like his cute self.

This was a laugh that I haven't heard for 4 1/2 years. It was Karleigh's belly laugh. It was not a loud laugh, but a deep chest laugh. I know that probably doesn't make sense, but it does to me. Oh, I wish I had a video camera running for that minute today. I have tried to replay it over and over in my head today so that I can keep hearing it. How I miss that laugh!!

I am grateful today that I was able to hear that laugh of my sweet daughter through my darling son. What a wonderful little gift I was given today. I am grateful to my Father in Heaven for this small tender mercy.