Getting bigger....

Wow - 2 posts in one week! Amazing! I thought I would post a few pictures of Parker so you can see how big he is getting - and so I can appease my sisters. I don't know why I always happen to take pictures of him in his car seat - but I seem to take a lot when he is in there. Oh well. Enjoy!

Look at these beautiful dark blue eyes Parker has! Love them!!

Smiling for Grandma Stimpson. Parker has lots of different smiles. They are all adorable....mainly because he is adorable! I just want to kiss his cheeks all day long!

He is now 8 weeks old!! Where has the time gone?!

Our "Karleigh Day"

Can I first start this post by expressing how grateful I am that we have a loving Father in Heaven that really does hear our prayers and really does answer them?! Every day I see evidence of it, but especially today. Today marks 4 years since this sweet, precious angel went back home. A home where many loved ones anxiously awaited her return. How grateful I am for them welcoming her home. I am sure it was an amazing and joyous reunion. I dream of that day when I too will be reunited with my sweet Karleigh again. I know it will happen. I know I will see her again. I know that she will be whole and free from pain. I know that, because I know with every fiber of my being that our Savior made it possible. He took upon himself every pain and heartache, sin and wrongdoing that each of us has. Today I am extra grateful to Him for the amazing sacrifice that He bore for me, but most importantly, for my daughter. My daughter will have a perfect body someday! Do you know how amazing that is to me?!!!?

I have been thinking about this day coming for a while now. It has always been SO hard in the past! It has been excruciatingly hard. The awful events of this day would replay over and over in my mind. I would see the suffering on her face. I would see me holding her alive for the last time. I would see the ambulance. I would see the parametics. I would see the needles and medicine. I would see the life-flight. I would see the ER scene over.and.over.and.over!!! I would see Chris and I sobbing as we held her when it was all over. On and on and on....Horrible memories!!

I didn't want to do that this year. I didn't want to be a complete mess. I didn't want to relive the worst day of my life! I wanted my children to remember her life, not her death. I wanted to remember her life, not her death. So what other thing could I do, but pray. Pray for peace. Pray for the help to get through it. Pray for those awful memories that have plagued the previous years to stay at bay and to just let me have peace. Pray to feel Karleigh near.

My prayers were answered. Usually the entire week before the "date" I am a mess. I know what is coming and I don't like it. This year I was blessed with extra busyness! So grateful for that! We had Chris's parents come into town for Parker's baby blessing (of which I will blog about that and Easter later). I had not successfully been able to fully feel like my house was clean since we moved in. Clean the way I like it. I have to admit, I have become pretty picky about my house and the way it is cleaned. Does that mean it is always clean, certainly not. But when I get on a cleaning fix, that is all I can do! I just have to get it done - the way I want it done!! Anyway, off my little cleaning tangent.... So this week and weekend have been very busy with cleaning, company - all up until last night.

As I said my prayers last night, I prayed that I would be comforted today. I asked that I would feel Karleigh near. I prayed that I would not have to relive the bad memories. As soon as my head hit my pillow, though, the tears started to flow. My wonderful husband held me as I cried for my baby. I miss her. I miss her a lot! Few words (or signed words) were said, but Chris just held me until I was done and able to roll over to sleep. I love this man! My comfort last night came in the form of physical touch from my husband. Thank you, Chris. I love you.

As I laid there crying, all the sudden I had flashbacks of different times when Karleigh was at the hospital - after surgeries, during numerous dr. appts, during blood draws, during horrible x-ray scans where she was trapped in big machinery and choking and I couldn't get her out!, during times of pain and discomfort. At first I was pretty bothered thinking that this was NOT what I prayed for. But answers to prayers come in unexpected ways. Through these brief flashbacks, I was able to remember all of the awful things my sweet little girl had to endure on a daily basis. I was able to remember the pain she had almost every single day and night of her time on this earth. I was able to remember the tears in her eyes, the look on her face as they stuck her with yet another needle. I was able to remember vividly the prayer I said as I rocked her to sleep the night before she passed.

And even though the pain and longing will never EVER go away, today it has been lessened. I know this is an answer to my prayers. I miss her so much. Chris misses her so much. Zach misses her so much. Many family and friends miss her so much. But she is not in pain right now. She is not going through dr. appt after dr. appt. She is not going through more surgeries. She is not confined to a wheelchair. Her spirit that was trapped in a broken body is free. I envision her holding her head up high as she runs through the meadows filled with beautiful flowers and butterflies. She is free from the trials of this earth. My sweet little girl is free. How grateful I am that she has such a blessing!!! How grateful I am that I could remember these brief flashbacks of the reality of her life on this earth. Chris and I gave her the best life we could. She made us happy! There was no way NOT to be happy. Her spirit shown through so brightly that you could not deny that there was something extra special about her. She is beautiful and always will be. My sweet Karleigh taught me more in her short 2 1/2 years than I learned in my whole life. She taught me about what is really important. Now it is my job to remember it. I pray that I will do a better job at remembering.

My tears stayed away all day until now as I write this. I actually felt happy today. I felt peace today. Most importantly, I felt Karleigh today. I know that is why I felt peace and happiness today.

I wanted to do some things today to remember her. Chloe and I wore pink and yellow today. As you might remember, flowers and butterflies remind us of Karleigh - mainly pink and yellow. I have been missing planting flowers this year and making new flower beds. We are renting this house, so I can't just start digging in the dirt. So I decided to go get a couple new pots, dirt and flowers. Of course, I bought more flowers than I should have. I just can not ever decide, so I end up buying too much. They just all look so pretty. There wasn't as much selection as I was used to in Indiana. Maybe they just don't grow down here in Arizona. But Chloe, Parker and I found some pink and yellow flowers that will be just great. Here are a few pictures from our planting.
(Thanks again, AJ, for Chloe's gloves! They fit even better this year!)
(my handsome Zach being a good helper)(Pink and yellow!!)
Finished product! I had to get out the three smaller pots to hold the extra flowers. The big one will be for the front porch and the others will probably be on the back porch.

After getting the flowers done, we all wrote little notes to Karleigh and attached them to pink and yellow balloons. We then went out to an open area close to our house and let them fly up to heaven. The kids really liked being able to send Karleigh a note! I am grateful that today was different than the other years and that my many prayers were answered. I am grateful for my temple marriage that binds my family together FOREVER - into the eternities! What a blessing! I hope that I/we will always live worthy of that blessing! I am grateful that I had a couple wonderful years with my sweet and pure Karleigh. I pray that her life will always be remembered and honored and that we all remember the lessons she taught us. I pray that the peace that has come today will stay for a long time. She is missed more than words can express. She is loved even more than that. But she is free. Free from pain. Free to soar. That is what is most important.

Birthday Girl!!!

"I'm three!! Now I'm big enough to go to the temple!!!" This is what she told me this morning when we sang her Happy Birthday at the breakfast table. Such a doll!
Our cutest Chloe Hope turned 3 today!!! I still can't believe it!! Why do kids have to grow so fast! We just celebrated her birthday as a family this year. We had a fun time being together. She got some fun toys, a couple dresses and the best one of all - a swingset (to share with Zach and Parker). We decided it was high time to get the kids a playset. (It certainly isn't the most attractive thing, but it does the job well! The kids don't care anyway!) Notice the beautiful pink flowering bushes along the fence line (wall).

She picked out her birthday cake this year. All she wanted was sprinkles! Yum!

Happy Birthday, sweet girl! I am so glad you are a part of our family! You bring so much laughter and fun into our home! You are such a big helper and have such a pleasant personality! Your smiles are contagious! I love your hugs and kisses and when you snuggle with me. I feel so honored that I have been blessed to be your mother! Thank you for everything you teach me. I hope and pray that you will always know how much I love you! You are so special and have brought so much "Hope" back into my life. I love you, Chloe Hope!!

Parker's quilt

My wonderful mom lovingly made this quilt for Parker when he was born. I have been meaning to post pictures of it, but just keep forgetting. She is such a talented lady! Thanks so much, Mom!! I love you!!!!

5 1/2 weeks...

Thanks, Marci for letting Parker wear this adorable outfit! This was his first time to wear it, but I don't know if he will fit in it much longer! He is getting so big already! He spit up all over it right before I started taking pictures, but as you can tell, we still went ahead with the photo shoot.

At his 1 month check-up, he weighed 12.1 lbs and had grown 2 inches! He is in the 90%!!! He is still such a good baby! I am so lucky and am praying it stays this way. It looks as though he has dark blue eyes like Chloe. He has started smiling now, but usually is pretty stingy with them. He will give you one smile and then make you wait a while for another. I just love them though! He is starting to smile with his whole face, not just with the corners of his mouth.

Family fun

Zach had Spring intermission (spring break, just longer) from March 9-23rd. We did some fun activities while he was home. Luckily, Chris was in town most of the time, so we got to have him come along as well. We hung out at the park, went to the Phoenix Zoo, Castles 'N' Coasters (a small amusement park), a small hike in Papago park and just enjoyed being together. Here are a bunch of pictures from our adventures.

At the zoo, Brady Barr from the National Geographic channel came to do a presentation to the kids. The kids had a front row to see all the creatures he brought out. No thank you for me! Yuck - snakes!

Chloe was brave enough to sit in the front with Zach, but he had to hold her. Such a good brother keeping her safe!!Zach getting Brady Barr's autograph.
Parker, doing what he does best....just hangin' out. He missed all the animals!These next few pictures need explaining....Chris was asked to go out to the site where they will be building the power plant and discourage the Burrowing Owl from making its home and laying eggs on the site. Why does it matter, you ask? Well, this Owl is on the endangered species list and if they burrow on the site, then construction will be delayed until they have their babies. Since Chris is the first one out here before construction, he got the lucky job. One day, he even got to fight off a badger!
Zach went out with Chris when he met with the scientist to teach him all about what to do. He taught Zach a lot of things while he was there. He got to go out with Chris several times to help probe the holes. They had a great time together being buds.
Castles 'N' Coasters - ridin' the go-carts! One of Zach's favorites!
The roller coaster went right above the track and some of the other rides. It was quite loud being right under it!!Chloe decided she was brave enough for the little roller coaster....until she was on it! She didn't quite like it after it started! Zach got to ride with Mr. Cool that didn't want his picture taken. Sorry dude - that's what you get when I have to take a picture of my son!!! Thanks for being his riding partner though!!Parker did fabulous on this little outing. He was about 4 weeks old. Most of the day he spent sleeping in his stroller. Chris and I just took turns riding with the kids.

Zach is sitting on the end seat. Chloe actually went on this green ride too a little later. She HATED it! Finishing her yummy snack! yum - ice cream!!!This is the front side of the hole in the rock at Papago Park. We hiked up the back side to the hole to look out over the city. Even Parker got to go! He was all cozy in the front carrier.I sure do love hanging out with my family!!!

My beautiful baby....

IS NOT A BABY ANYMORE!!!


This is becoming more and more real to me since having Parker. Chloe is going to be turning 3 in just a couple weeks! It is so hard to actually accept that she is growing up! I have many nicknames for my kids, usually pretty corny. I guess when you grow up with a funny mom that rhymes everything - you kind of tend to do the same thing! My mom has weirder nicknames for all of us kids than I think I do for mine! Zach probably has the weirdest names out of all my kids - poor guy. Maybe that's because I have had almost 9 years to come up with them!! (can't believe that either! - he is almost 9!! Oh, I am getting old, and getting grey hairs to prove it!)

When we brought Parker home from the hospital, I really started to notice just how big Chloe is getting! I would call out to her, "Hey, little baby, can I have a hug?" Or, "Hi babe, did you sleep good?" In other words, one of her nicknames is "baby" and it is just not fitting her like it used to. It makes me sad! But at the same time, she makes me happy, so I can't be too sad about it! But I think she will still always have that nickname even if it doesn't fit! She is just my little doll face, my "little miss!" (another nickname)

Well, a few weeks ago, Chloe and I decided she needed a haircut. So, we headed for the bathroom with scissors in hand and started chopping! It was a little bit longer, but then she was adament that it wasn't quite short enough. So, off came another inch! I attempted to put a few little layers in, but I am not quite sure how much you can tell. I think she looks totally cute, but is now looking even more grown up! Auughh, why did I cut it!!! When I look at the above pictures, I really miss her long hair. I haven't taken the time to try to curl it up, so one of these days we will have to attempt it. I just think I could squish her! She is so dang cute!!!

(thank you to my wonderful Mom for making her darling dress and matching purse, as well as the pink and brown polka-dot dress above! Love them!!!)

Here is just a short little video of her at the park. She decided she wanted to play on the smaller slides this day. I just love listening to her cute little voice, so I thought I would share!!

Chloe's comment...

Tonight before bed with a smile on her face, Chloe said, "Mom, when I be Karleigh, I will not die and go away from you! I will stay with you and hug you and you will be happy!"

Earlier at dinner she said, "Karleigh is up with Heavenly Father."

I guess she was thinking about her sister a lot tonight....Hmmm, so was I.