Thursday, August 27, 2009

Yeah for visitors!

Visitors are wonderful! Especially when it is your wonderful parents and siblings! The occasion....just because! Just for fun! Actually, it wasn't to see me at all! It was to see my darling kids! I am just the side attraction these days!

We had a great time with some of my family a couple weekends ago. My Dad, Mom, David (brother...who just got home from his mission to CA in June!), and Joy (hottie sister!) dropped off my other brother Brian at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) (serving in the Omaha, NE mission) on August 12th (Joy turned 15 that day too!!). The next day, they drove from Utah to Arizona to see us! So fun! Thanks Grandpa Clay for loaning them your car! So nice of you! They were here for just a few short days, but we thouroughly enjoyed our time with them! I wish they could have stayed longer. Baxter (our dog) did too!! Here are some pictures from our hangout time...
Parker chillin' on the couch early one morning with Grandpa Clay (yes, my son is playing with a doll...and it doesn't bother me one bit! =) Can I just tell you...I have the best dad!
We took a trip up to see the Mesa Temple and go through the Visitor Center there. It is a really neat place. This is David being a good uncle and keeping Parker happy.
Having fun!
Playing with Grandma! Can I just tell you...I have the best mom!!!
Uncle Douglas (Davey's middle name) helping Chloe with the movie. He is headed out to BYU-I in a week or so! (Yes, he's single!!)
Hottness Joy! Joy really is simply fabulous! She is super classy, intellegent and beautiful....oh, and super sweet! We did some shopping one of the days she was here. It was so nice to have my well-dressed, classy sister giving her older, frumpy sister pointers on how to dress! I need to take her with me every time I shop!!! She was a huge help!
Chloe had planned before they even came to play hair bows with Davey! Look at the sheer excitement on her face! She had so much fun putting her bows in his hair!! Thanks for being a good sport, David! It was great to see you again! We missed you while you were away on your mission!
Chloe's turn!
Did I mention Joy is fabulous! She got Parker to sleep twice in one day. Once was at church (and she held him the whole time too!!) and once was after church. She will make a great mommy some day! (Notice Parker is almost as big as Joy!! haha)
Chloe's first photo shoot! This is just one of the many random pictures she took while playing with my camera.
The other thing Chloe was totally looking forward to was playing dress-up with Joy-Joy! She was super excited when I said she could also put on make-up! She wanted to wear it all - especially Joy's "lip-GLASS!"
Zach decided to get in on the action. (ssshhhh, don't tell him you know!)
He didn't want his picture taken proving that he was wearing makeup!

Yes, Joy is wearing Chloe's tutu!

Joy turned 15 while they were in Utah, but didn't get a birthday cake on her birthday! So, we made her a belated cake! Happy Birthday, Wiggy!!

Our first house..

While in Colorado this summer, we drove by our old house in Johnstown. This was it! Our very first house (minus the cars)!!! There are many memories in this house! We bought it when Zach was about 4 and Karleigh was about a year and a half old. This little house served us well for the time we were there (almost 2 years). We did many things to fix it up and make it feel more like our own. We were grateful to have had this house. It is bittersweet because this is the last place Karleigh was before the paramedics arrived and whisked her away in the life flight. But is is also the place where we have many fun family memories together with our darling Karleigh. She learned and developed SO much while we lived here. We are grateful for the time we had in this little home!

Another Chloe comment...

Today on the way home from preschool, Chloe told me this story...with much emphasis! She couldn't believe this happened to this poor boy at school today....

(Chloe) "Mom! Today, Abby hurt Gage's feelings!"

(Me) "Oh really, what did she do?"

(Chloe) "She hit him like this (demonstrated), and that hurt his feelings! Now he doesn't have any feelings anymore!!!"

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Humble pie....

Chloe is an extremely SLOW eater! She always has been! It can take her over 45 mintues to get half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into her little belly. Why? Who knows! Well, I do know part of it. She is talking - always talking! Or singing, or laughing, or thinking or staring into space. It is common to hear me say "chomp, chomp, chomp" or "put a bite in" or "eat, Chloe!!" many, many times throughout a meal.

Well, tonight my patience was not as high as it should have been and I got a bit snippy with her when asking her to eat. "Chloe! Put a bite in and eat....right now! I am getting angry that I have to keep asking you to eat - over and over!"

She then said happily, "But you are my nice mom and I love you and you are so nice to me!"

I got my frustrations in check, then we finished dinner and went off to read stories. I love my girl so much! She is such a dolly - even if it does take her forever to eat!!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

"When the summer is over...."

All summer long, Chloe has been anxiously awaiting for the start of preschool! She would tell everyone that "when the summer is over, I get to go to preschool!!" So much excitement! We found her a new backpack and lunch bag (she gets to bring a sacklunch to school), which she adores and is SO proud of! As we were driving to school this morning, she saw a bus going down a different road and told me that I was going the wrong way and I needed to follow the bus. For a minute she was pretty bummed that school is not at a "real" school, but quickly got over it. A wonderful lady in our ward is doing a preschool from her home for about 8 kids. I am so excited for Chloe, but it was sure weird having her gone for so long (2 days/week - 4 hours).
Our conversation last night before bed went like this...
Me: "What if I miss you so much while you are at preschool?"
Chloe: (while hugging me) "Don't be sad Mom! I promise I will come back! Parker and Baxter will be here and take care of you so you won't be your only!"
On the way home today, she told me that I was sad while she was gone, but now I could be happy because she came back! My little girl-girl is growing up too fast for my liking!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Taking care of Squirt...

So, one of the most important things we do when we visit Colorado is to take care of our little Squirt. This is not the way I ever invisioned taking care of one of my children. I always invisioned changing diapers, cleaning messes, playing games, taking pride in their accomplishments, watching them grow into adulthood and seeing who they become.
For one of my children, my little Squirt, I take pride in her biggest accomplishment of all. She did it! She accomplished the purpose she was sent to this earth for. She accomplished all that our Heavenly Father asked her to do.
Although my life certainly doesn't always go as I planned, it goes the way He planned - and that plan is a perfect plan. It is perfect, even if my earthly human eyes can't see the entire big picture. I know that there is a plan. I know that He knows all the reasons Karleigh only needed to be here physically with our family for a short time.
And although I know that He knows that I know this truth, I also know that He knows that my heart hurts. That my heart will always have hurt and a longing for seeing my sweet daughter again. I know that this longing will help to keep me always striving to be humble enough to get on my knees and ask for His help to make it back to be with my darling daughter forever. I know that my Father in Heaven helps ease the pain and hurt from this longing when sometimes it feels too much to bare. He lightens my load over and over again - even when I am not particularly deserving of the help.
This 1st visit back to the cemetary was easier than all the others have been in years past. We were there to take care of her in the only way that we physically can. We were there to, in some small way, let her know that we loved her and that we think of her ALL the time. We were there to pay respects to a perfect, beautiful little girl who brought so much joy, laughter and peace into our lives. But, it was easier this year. We did what we went there to do, took some pictures, and left. We got through it. We got through it without tears. Amazing to me. The quote that says "time heals all wounds" really rang true that day. It hurt, yes, but we made it through.
We went to the cemetary a few times while out in Colorado. The last time was the night before we left to drive home. It was just the kids and I as we were leaving Johnstown to head back over to Chris's parents. It had been a rough day and I was not feeling particularly strong emotionally that day. As I walked back to the car, the feelings came over me that I was so close to having all my children right there....tangibly. We were at the place where my daughter's body lay. I was so close, yet - so far. As the tears welled up in my eyes, I longed to hold them all together in a big family group hug. I longed to drive away in my car with all 4 of my kids. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to drive away, yet again, from my daughters physical body.
But, as I have so many times before, I wiped the tears before I was a huge mess, picked my head up, put my shoulders back and drove away. Away until the time when we again will be able to care for our little Squirt. I am so grateful to those dear friends and family that go to visit and take care of Karleigh. We feel so blessed to have left her in a place where so many people have been touched by her life and are still willing, after all these years, to keep her headstone clean and bring her little gifts. Our load has been lightened by many of these wonderful people. A special thanks to Del and Kathy Slaugh, who were in our ward in Johnstown. They visit her every holiday and bring special gifts to brighten her gravesite. As I thanked Del at church on Sunday, the tears flowed freely.
(Newest little gift from the Slaugh's)
I wish so badly that I could be there to take care of it. I am her mother. I am supposed to do that. It is the only physical way I have these days of caring for her. But, since there has obvioulsy been a different plan for my life, I am truly grateful and deeply touched by the kind acts of others as they care for my daughters resting place. I am sure there are others that I have not gotten to thank personally. If you are one of them, and happen to read this blog - Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you for what you do for my daughter - and for my family. Thank you.
I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for my life. It is a good plan. It is not always easy, but I am confident that it is a good plan and that my life will be graetly blessed as I do my best to accept what comes my way. I am grateful that I have my Squirt up in heaven caring for me now and cheering me along. I know that I will see her again some day and I will be able to have that big family group hug that I long for. Someday....just not now. And that is ok. I am ok. We are ok.
2 Nephi 2:24
But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of Him who knoweth all things.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Taking a break.....sortof...(#1)

On July 11th, we headed out for a long drive from Arizona to Colorado. Chris's parents are moving and we decided to go help them pack up their house. We decided to do the trip in two days instead of trying to exhaust ourselves and the kids and get it done in 1 day. I think it is about a 14 hour drive - without stops. Well, when you have 3 kids, one of them being a baby that likes to eat all the time....14 hours turns into a lot more! We just took our time and enjoyed being together. The first night we stayed in a hotel in Albuquerque, NM. The kids were thrilled with that idea, because they were able to go swimming before going to bed that night, plus needed a break from the car.
Chloe was doing her "spiderman, spiderman climbing on the wall" that she learned in swimming lessons.
Zach was trying really, really hard to do a handstand under that water. He was getting pretty close.
Parker's first time in the pool! He did ok for a little bit, but got pretty cold. He and I ended up getting out early so he could go to bed.
The next day we headed out after breakfast for CO. It was a beautiful day and we were so excited when we made it to the Rocky Mountains. Beautiful! We stopped at a rest stop in southern CO to feed Parker and let the kids get out and run around. (I am not in many pictures because I was pretty much the photographer for the entire trip.)Love this picture of my adorable family!
While Chloe and Zach ran around, Chris sat and played with Parker. Parker was LOVING being outside and out of his carseat! Parker is getting better at sitting. He still doesn't quite have it down, but hopefully soon he catch on to it.
This was his first time sitting in and touching soft green grass. The grass in our yard in AZ is pretty scratchy and hard. I love his squishy little hands and feet!

More vacation pictures to come.....

Monday, July 27, 2009

Where did the summer go?....

Zach started 4th grade today!!! He had a great day and ended up knowing many kids in his class. He thinks his teacher, Mrs. Barz is going to be good. "She is pretty nice and only a little strict." I asked him what he did at recess and he said that he and his friend, Adam, (from down the street) met up out on the field. When I asked for more details, he said that they ran around because the two girls that they like were chasing them! Oh, young love!! (if you call it love...) They only got to be chased for about 10 minutes and then had to go inside. It was 114 degrees today!! This heat is just nuts! Lately, Zach is always requesting to have his picture taken with Parker. I think he is quite the proud big brother and really enjoying having another boy around the house. (yes, Parker really is only 5 1/2 months old, but wearing 12 month clothes!)

Good luck with 4th grade, Zach!! We are proud of you and know you will do a great job! We love you!!!!