A Birthday Wish...

Today Karleigh would turn 6 years old! (If you are one of the lucky ones that looks fabulous pregnant and fabulous after just having a baby....just know....I was not blessed with that ability! Look at the baby people - nothing else!!!!) I can hardly believe she would be that old! It is just weird to think of her at that age because kids grow so much from 2 years old to 6 years old. She has been back in heaven longer than she was here on the earth. But yet, at times, it seems like we just had her here. Then at other times, it feels longer than what it really has been.

2 days old

I have really done a lot better with this anniversary than I usually do. Sure, I have had my moments, and as painful as they are - this time I didn't stop them from coming. But usually it is for about an entire week before that is really hard. Maybe it is because there is a lot going on, or maybe it is because time is healing some of my open wounds. Last night I let myself really break down. I let the tears fall freely. I let myself be consumed in thoughts about my daughter. I prayed that I would feel her near. I prayed that I would have peace and comfort.

I let the mental videos of her play in my head. As I have thought about the ones that were "playing" in my head, it was interesting that they have something in common. Her smile and her laughter and her sweetness. I wish I could just upload my mental videos and let you all see her. A smile would undoubtedly appear on your face. It was just contagious!

Full-on amazing laugh!!!

One that I clearly remember was when I was making dinner one night. In our Colorado house, we had one of those big long island/bar counters that attach to the wall. (hopefully you can picture that). Anyway, I had put Karleigh in her wheelchair so that she could watch me make dinner and feel included. She always needed to know that I was right there with her and she loved to be a part of everything and loved to have a conversation with you (in her own little special way). I put her on the other side of the counter (bar stool side) while I was on the opposite side. I got kind of involved in what I was making and kind of didn't pay attention to her for a minute. She squirmed the same way she always did when she wanted some attention. As I looked up at her, I remember this sly little look on her face. She was VERY good at teasing and completely knew what she was doing when she did it!! She had this look on her face telling me...."I bet you wouldn't dare come over here and tickle me!" It was so funny and so magnetic that I obviously had to then do the...."I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you" as I walked slowly over to her with my hands in tickle position! And then I guess you can imagine what happened next. Shear laughter and fun as I went and tickled her overly-ticklish body! Every time I would go back to the other side of the counter, she would give me that sly look again to tell me to come get her! We did that back and forth for a little while, having an absolute blast. Her laugh was SO incredibally full and addicting! Finally, I had to stop or we wouldn't be eating that night! So I stood on the other side of the counter and just did "Boo" over and over and over while I made dinner so that we could keep the laughing going. That was such a fun night! I will always remember how her eyes and smile were that evening.

Another fun story. Chris or I would read a story to the kids every night before bed. Usually Chris would read to Zach and I would read to Karleigh. As Karleigh got older, I thought she would love to be included in the "bigger kid" storytime with Chris. I could read to her anytime, but Chris's time was limited as he was working full time and in school full time. So, I took her in to lay on the bed with the boys - all three of them on the single size mattress! The all scrunched together and started reading and I went into my bedroom to do something.

Now before I tell the rest of the story, I have to give this little background. For those that never knew Karleigh, you have to understand a little about her muscle tone. She was diagnosed later in her life with CP (cerebral palsy). Sometimes she would be very "floppy" and other times her muscles would be so rigid you couldn't move her. She had a very hard time controlling her muscles and getting her arms and hands to do what she wanted. It took a lot of concentration and diligence to get them right where she wanted them. To keep them in that spot was another very difficult thing for her to do. Ok - back to the story....

A little bit later, I hear Chris happily saying, "Karleigh, I can't see!" I went in to see what was going on as Chris was moving her arm off of his eyes. I sat in the doorway and watched to see if she did anything else. Chris continued reading the story. Just a short time later, Karleigh's arm was across his eyes again and he couldn't see to read the story. He said it again, "Karleigh, I can't see!" The look on her face was classic! She was so incredibally proud of herself that she had gotten her arm over his eyes to tease him. She completely knew what she was doing. She did it over and over and over, making us all laugh and laugh. She was such a tease!

I know that my prayers were heard last night as I pleaded for comfort. I know that these "mental videos" came in answer to my prayers. I came down to the computer and decided that I would re-listen to one of the conference talks that really struck a cord with my in the Saturday afternoon session. It was Elder Holland speaking about Angels. You can read is here or go here to the Saturday afternoon session and click on Elder Holland's talk and watch or listen to it...if you are interested. As I listened to this talk, I felt a calm and a peace and a relief from my grief. That too was an answer to my prayers. After that, I was then able to go to bed.

I did not want this day to be a sad day, but when I woke up, I was still somewhat filled with grief. I did not get much sleep because of my lovely 2 year old that likes to, for some unknown reason, get up numerous times and also my pregnant bladder. (no, my bladder is not pregnant...you know what I mean...I hope!) I know that no sleep makes me more emotional. Chris gave me a much needed long hug before leaving and headed out the door for work and to catch a plane (unfortunately for his Grandfather's funeral). Chloe was watching her Barbie movie on the couch, so I asked her if I could lay by her to watch it. She snuggled up with me under the blanket and let me just hold her tight. It was just what I needed right then.
I later talked with my mom and my sister, Marci. I truly have been blessed with the most wonderful family! They let me cry a bit and then told me of a poem that Marci had written for today. It is down below. They were taking treats to their friends and passing on Karleigh's love. I cried as my mom read it to me and decided that the kids and I were going to do the same thing. Thank you, Marci for doing this and inspiring us to do the same.

A Birthday Wish…

We’d like to tell you of a girl we know
Who passed away a few years ago.
This is not a story of sorrow and tears;
Instead, it is one of smiles and cheers.

You see, her life was a gift from our
Father above;
And she taught us all what it meant to love.
Her eyes told a story of promise and hope,
And her giggles could cheer even the grumpiest mope.

Today we celebrate her precious life,
And try to remember there are blessings amid strife.
Although she is missed more than words can say,
Her message of love goes on each day.

So enjoy these treats and as you do,
Remember always there are many who love you.

Karleigh Ann Stimpson
10/16/02 – 4/14/05

Written by: Marci Weatherspoon (my wonderful younger sister)

The kids and I carried on our family tradition that we started the birthday after Karleigh passed away. We plant bulbs, usually tulips, and sometimes a variety. Flowers remind us of Karleigh and the neat thing is, they bloom around the same time that she passed away. It kind of helps to put things into perspective and help us to remember that there is still beauty, despite the pain and grief and longing.

Chris wrote a poem that I will also include in this ever long post. I am grateful for my wonderful husband and children. I am grateful for this day 6 years ago when a beautiful Angel girl came to our home to bless and inspire us. I am grateful for her laughter and her happiness. I am grateful to know that she is still ever near and that I will some day see her beautiful face again. We love you, Karleigh Ann!

Winter’s Discord – Hope Restored

Winter solstice bitter and cold
Our souls sinking in loneliness
Day by day our bodies growing old
God’s plan of Happiness
Hope it restores to our soul.

A seed sowed in strife
In soils fertile with love
Nature’s harmony absent
A flower begins life
A discord to rise above.

Patient and longing
In darkness and silence
Root takes hold
Its shape in forming
All dreams to mold.

Into sunlight she emerged
The bud pure and whole
With radiance to behold
All beauty worth more than gold
Lo, we are made whole.

A mold to fulfill
Petals to show forth
A world to overcome
All harmony to instill
With time all will come.

Petals bent and bruised
Molded dreams dashed
In darkness enters discord
All hope now confused
Our souls lie anguished.

All truth denied
Greater still the hope
Determined to fit the mold
Reality takes hold
Fears now subside.

An eternal flower still
In need of love
All things the same
A discord to rise above
In soils fertile still.

Determination renewed
The mold our souls break
Hope no longer confused
All harmony to make
The world is subdued.

Petals unique with beauty
Spirit pure and whole
Our souls now delight
Shared into community
The burden now is light.

As the sun sets
She withers in strength
Petals bent and bruised
Her life now lets
Again, our hope confused.

Spring returns
All beauty to impart
Each flower in perfection
All discord to depart
Forever in our heart she burns.

By: Christopher Stimpson

Yellowwood State Forest

So about two weekends ago, we decided we needed a break. Chris travels almost weekly and then we spend the weekends working on the house to get things ready to sell (yes, we will be moving - just don't know when...). We wanted to just spend the day having fun with the kids, so that is what we did. We packed a lunch and headed out to the Yellowwood State Forest for a nice little hike. Who's that handsome guy on the bridge?

Such good buddies! Zach is such a good older brother! Chloe just loves to hang out with him and do whatever he does. I hope they always stay good friends!

I love how small Chris and Chloe look compared to these massive trees!

We found this interesting residence on our way....

We then went down to a cute little town named, Nashville and walked around and window shopped. They just have all kinds of cute stuff there. On our way home, we stopped by our local apple orchard, Anderson Orchards to pick some apples and let Zach climb the trees. He was a little bummed that they weren't as big as he remembered them being last year. I guess that is what you get from growing....things aren't quite as big as they used to be!

Where's Zach?....

YEAH!!

I don't know if you all heard this mornings session of General Conference (Saturday), but President Monson announced 5 new temples to be built. I don't remember all of them except that one will be in Calgary and the other is in KANSAS CITY!!! That is my home turf and I am totally excited! What a huge blessing that will be to so many people I know and love that still live there! I remember when the St. Louis temple was announced and then when it was done being built. What an exciting time that was for us who lived close by. Before that, we would either have to go to the Denver, Chicago or Dallas temples. Quite a long trip, although it made for fun youth temple trips! I remember I was a senior when the St. Louis, MO temple was dedicated. I took two trips to help out at the open house and then another trip with my family for the dedication. What an amazing experience that was for my family and I. I remember as I was going through that beautiful temple that I would someday be married there for eternity! I am so excited that another beautiful temple will be so close to the place I call "home!" Blessings, blessings, blessings!!!! Here is where it will be....

Where do I begin?....

So I know it has been quite a while since I have posted anything. There are a lot of things to blog about, but sometimes there never quite seems time to do it. Either that, or I just don't feel like it sometimes. But I know how buggy it can be to check in on a blog and there is always the same old stuff! (right, sister of mine!!) I thought I would just start from the beginning of the school year.

Here is a picture of my handsome Zach on the first day of 3rd grade. Can you even believe he is in 3rd grade already!!! It's just not fair! I tell my kids all the time to quit growing and stay little, but they don't seem to be listening. Zach tells me that if he stops growing, he will never be able to get his driver's liscense....his whole purpose in being alive! Honestly, I am kind of scared for that day to come!!

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3rd grade field trip to Connor Prairie. It was such a fun place. The kids really enjoyed it. We didn't even get to go around to everything. Connor Prairie is a hands-on reinactment of life in the 1800's. The kids can learn about the Indian's that were living here in Indiana, farm life, learning how to make differnt things such as candles, rugs, houses, food, quilts, etc and what life was like. The people that worked there stayed in character and talked to the kids like they were their visitors. It was fun! I am glad I got to go. It was fun spending time with my Zach-o Boy!

Learning about the Indians

They were in a schoolhouse and the teacher was explaining about how the class was run back in those days.

Zach helping load the hay onto the wagon.

I guess he is watering the grass after filling up the bucket from the water pump.

Watching a guy make a canoe like the Indian's used to.

Mrs. Maple - Zach's teacher

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Zach's very 1st PINE WOOD DERBY!

Zach did a very good job building his first Pine Wood derby car. He and Chris had a great time working together and spent a lot of time on it. They wanted it just perfect....go figure! Zach did almost all the work on it except when he wasn't quite able to use a certain tool or needed extra help. Other than that, he did most all of it. He wanted his to look like a Nascar. It was black with a red lightning bolt "Z" on both sides!

The boy that he is racing in this picture is the one that won the derby. His car looked like a rocket. It was pretty cool.

Here are most of the boys in Zach's troop. I bet you know who I think is the most handsome kid there.....!

Here is a little video of the race Zach won.

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ZACH'S 1ST CAKE! Zach decided he was really craving a cake one Sunday last month. So I told him he could make it all by himself! How could he pass down that?! That means he would be able to eat as much batter as he wanted!!

Notice all the batter still in the bowl? Yeah. I left these two alone while they made the cake and then decided to come check on them at the end. I asked Zach why he didn't clean out the bowl all the way. (Dumb question - I know! I just wanted to hear his reason) He said, "Well, I wasn't able to get all the batter out into the pan. I tried."

As you can tell, it seems like he has it all figured out now! He ended up getting out the rubber spatula to clean out the bowl. (Maybe we need to have an honesty lesson for Family Night...whatcha think?)

Chloe was thrilled to help him solve the problem!

Leegabub's and Flowers

My sister, Julianne took this video at my Grandma Brammer's house on our vacation. Totally cute!

Princess in training....

I know I haven't finished posting pictures from our vacation, but today Chloe was just super darling that I had to take pictures and get them posted. I told her this morning that we were going to go to lunch with Carrie and TJ and their kids - her buddies.

I got her dressed and then she disappeared into her room for a bit. I just went and started to get ready. She then brought me some hair ties and said excitedly, "Look mom, these are cool ones!!" I then put her hair in pigtails, but then she ran right back in her room over and over and brought me more "cool ones."
After we did her hair, she went and asked for her jewelry (pretty fancy and expensive, I know!) and her purse. Thanks Grandma Clay for the purse!! She keeps her little tiny baby doll in her purse. After she had all that on, I went back to my bathroom to finish getting ready. When I was putting my makeup on, she also wanted to wear my lip gloss.
It was totally fun having her get all dolled up! Such fun to have a girl! She ended up wearing everything - including the pinchy clip-on earrings for about 2 1/2 hours! She drew a lot of attention to herself....but hey - I guess that is what happens when you are a princess for a day!!
(I couldn't decide on which picture I liked best....)

Family Vacation....finally!

So - I know that I have been a complete slacker in getting anything posted! There are a lot of pictures to post from our vacation and just have not had time to put them up. So sorry! Plus that - for those of you that haven't heard yet, I have had a lot of morning sickness (or shall I say...all day sickness), so that has also been my excuse for not posting. Baby number 4 will be showing up around Feb. 21st. We are excited! Chris and Zach think it's a boy and totally want another boy! Chloe always says it is a girl. With as sick as I have felt - I think it's a boy! Who else can make you so miserable!!! (kidding, kidding!!) So anyway, I will start, but may have to do it in multiple posts....we'll see.

At the end of July, we headed out on a cross-country drive from Indiana to Utah for the Clay family reunion! LONG drive! The kids were such troopers and did a good job keeping themselves entertained and happy. We stopped in Omaha, NE for a couple hours to load up my sister, Julianne, her husband Ryan and their 5 month old baby, Sam. The van was quite packed, but we had a good time hanging out. Even baby Sam did a great job!

Just hangin' out trying not to be too bored!

At one of our pitstops, Zach found a toad jumping in the grass. This little guy kept the kids entertained for a bit. I remember when I was younger I would catch toads that looked just like this and tie a string around it's neck (if it has a neck!). Then I would take it for a walk down the sidewalk. Ahh, memories!

We made it to Colorado and spent the night at Chris's parents house. That was a lot of fun to see them, even if it was only for a couple hours. Grandma Stimpson made us a wonderful pancake breakfast that next morning and helped us pack a lunch for the days drive to UT.

We did get to stop by and see Chris's Grandparents for a few minutes on our way out, but missed seeing Chris's sister Stephanie and her family. We miss living close to everyone. I sure wish we would have had time to stop by and see all of our fabulous friends out there too, but there just wasn't time.

One of our most important stops along the way was in CO just before we headed out to UT. We stopped by the Johnstown cemetary where our sweet Karleigh is buried. We were flattered that Chris's parents had cleaned up her headstone and put some flowers there, knowing that we would be coming. That was special to us. I wish we lived close so that we could visit more often and keep it clean. But we are very thankful to our family and friends that so lovingly help take care of it for us. It comes with a lot of mixed emotions for everyone everytime we are there. Last summer I had a lot of tears. This time, I felt a lot more peace - still sad - but more at peace.













Chloe really enjoyed playing with Karleigh's "leegabub" (ladybug) and putting her face right up to Karleigh's picture. I know she knows her big sister and can't wait for the day that I can see them together again.













We finally made it to UT!! My wonderful Grandma Brammer was so kind in letting us invade her cute little home. Although, it wasn't just my family and Julianne's family! My parents, my brother Brian and sister Joy, and eventually my other sister, Marci and her 2 kids all crowded in the same house. Let's just say....crowded! But it was still fun, none the less. Chloe loved the shirts that Grandma would wear. The first one (not the one pictured below) was her favorite. If you ask her what is on Grandma's shirt, she will still tell you, "um, leegabub's and flowers!"


















Monday, we went up to Syracuse to see Chris's Grandpa and Grandma Stimpson. They are just wonderful! Grandma made us a fresh homemade rubarb pie - one of Grandpa and Chris's favorite. We are grateful we got to be with them, especially Grandpa. He is suffering from Parkinson's and has been having a hard time lately. Grandma is caring for him so lovingly, but is also getting pretty worn out. Caring for someone who is sick is not an easy thing, and I think it is even more amazing when you are elderly and doing it!











One the way home, we decided to stop by Temple Square in downtown Salt Lake City. I absolutely LOVE to look at the flowers there. It just makes me want to come home and redo all my flower beds!














Here are just some of my favorite pictures of our outing at the Temple Square!

I love watching these three play! Chloe was chasing Zach so that she could put grass in his hair! For those of you who know about my grass game....yes, my kids are learning all the tricks....a bit at a time. Maybe someday I will reveal the entire game! My siblings used to LOVE that game - right guys!!!

Not a fabulous picture of myself, but hey - I finally have a picture with my husband! So, I had to include it - yucky or not! Thanks, Zach, for being our photographer!

More to come in another post.....for now.....bedtime!

PS - With fingers crossed.....potty training is a success!!! YEAH for Chloe!