yummmm....cookies....

The kids and I decided to have a cookie baking night. We decided to make my mom's Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies....famous in the Clay house. Zach loves them, but doesn't get them that often.....mainly because my hips don't really need them! Mean mom, I know. I had my apron on, so they wanted to wear one too. I thought they looked cute in their little aprons sitting on the counter.

You may be wondering what the big white thing is. Everytime I have people over at my house when I pull this thing out, they always wonder what it is! It is my Bosch mixer!! Yes, it is ancient - and for a very good reason! It was my Grandma Clay's mixer that I inherited and I love it! I works wonderful! Mom, any idea how old it is?

Finished product!!! Looks yummy, huh! The kids sure enjoyed them and we had a fun time in the kitchen together!

Congratulations, Zach!

Today was a very special day for Zach and our family. Today Zach was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is an exciting occasion and we are very grateful that Zach made the decision to be baptized. We are proud of the example he sets for us and those around him. He is an absolutely wonderful boy and is working hard to make good choices.

This is a picture of family and friends (not quite all of them) that came to witness the big day. My parents and youngest brother and sister drove from North Carolina, and Chris's parents and youngest brother flew out from Colorado to support Zach. We greatly appreciate their sacrifices to come all the way out here. The others in the photo are our neighbors, the Jorgenson's and Stinson's. Chloe is missing from the picture....uh, yeah....Chris and I just kind of spaced it that we have another child running around that maybe should be in the picture. Ooops! =) Anyway, she was also there!!!

We are proud of you, Zach and love you SO much!!!!

Zach says, "One FUNKY lookin' mama!!"

So tonight for mutual we did an 80's Milli Vanilli night!! The youth all had a blast lip syncing to some "old music" - all though, not that old to me! So, here is my little get-up that I pulled together in 10 minutes (thanks, TJ)! Yes, I did the whole scrunchy at the waste of my shirt, borrowed some of Chloe's jewelry, tight-rolled my jeans (so unattractive!! - I can't believe we used to do that!), and had the big hair goin' on - oh, and even the shirt off the shoulder.....well, sort of! Chris planned this event with some of the boys and they did a great job! It was an awesome activity to end Chris's calling as Young Men President! PS - Zach didn't want me to post this picture because he is embarrassed of his mom! Poor Zach!

My Gardening Helper

I have been doing A LOT of gardening lately! I love it and have a lot of fun doing it. Chloe has been my sidekick and does a great job at stepping on the flowers I just planted!!! No, really she has only stepped on a couple. Most of the time she walks around them pretty well. She loves to ride around in the wheelbarrow too! Maybe she will have a green-thumb when she is older! I will try to post pictures soon of everything I have been working on!

Sending many thoughts and prayers

We pray that the McClellan family is comforted this day and throughout the future as they go through this trial. We love you guys and are mourning with you.
http://jordanmcclellan.blogspot.com/2008/03/our-sad-news.html

http://jordanmcclellan.blogspot.com/2008/04/our-date-to-meet-spencer.html

Jordan is my friend from high school. We hung out all the time, and then were roommates our first year of college. We got married 2 weeks apart and had our first baby close together. She lost her second child, as did I. Now she and her husband are going through it again with baby #5. I am strengthened by her courage and testimony and determination to accept Heavenly Father's plan for her and her family. Jordan is a wonderful example to me!

Great to be EIGHT!!!

I can not believe I have an eight year old!!! Wow - the fun times sure do fly by! Zach celebrated his 8th birthday on Thursday, May 1st. We had a good time!

Connor, Daniel, Nicholas and Zach

Then today (Saturday) he had his "friend party." He decided he wanted to go to Jump 'N' Play. There are a bunch of those inflatable bounce/slide things. They had lots of fun jumping, going down slides and playing on the arcades. We then came back to the house for pizza and cake.

Zach has been such a fun kid these past 8 years! He is growing so fast and is turning into such a good kid. He is quite funny and loves to tease....hmm, don't know where he learned that from! =) He is still quite a sensitive and loving boy and loves to just spend time with his family. He is still a "Daddy's boy" - has been since he was a few months old. He can't wait until he is big enough to start his career as a UPS driver or a bus driver. Yes - his life still revolves around anything with wheels! The bigger, the better! Some days he says he will be a semi-truck driver, some days it is the above, and some days who knows! He still has a while to iron that out!

We are so grateful that we have Zach in our family! He has taught us many lessons, tried our patience more times than we can count, and loved us unconditionally when we mess up. He is such a good brother and cares so much about his sisters. He will be getting baptized on May 10th at 4:00pm, which he is extremely excited about! Anyone and everyone is invited!

We love you, Zach and can't wait to watch you grow into an amazing young man! We know you have great things ahead of you and want you to know that you are loved by many - especially your parents!!!

What will Zach be?....

While in MO, we went to a fun exhibit that was called, What do I want to Be? It had all kinds of fun jobs that the kids could act out.
Scientist

Surfer
Barber

Race car driver
Teacher
President of the United States (with a funny hat on)
Bull Rider

Beautiful hair and Sparkly blue eyes

Visiting the Weatherspoon's

Playing at the fountains in downtown Kansas City at Crown Center.

On April 15th, the kids and I jumped in the car and went to Missouri to help out at my younger sister Marci's house. She was not able to lift her little Owen for a bit. It was a tiring, but fun trip and lots of fun for the kids. Marci and Dan put up with us for a whole week and we were grateful for that!

Morgan and Zach didn't always see eye to eye on a lot of things, but for the most part, had a pretty good time together! I got to have lots of cuddle with Owen which was lots of fun for me! He is a total squish! Marci missed his cuddles a lot, but it was sure fun for me while it lasted! Morgan loved having Chloe around to play dress-up and be an older sister to.

Chris was traveling in St. Louis that week, so he ended up driving to Kansas City for the weekend to be with us. That was fun to see him. It made a longer trip home for him, but we were grateful to spend the time with him. The kids and I came home on the 23rd. Marci is doing much better and was excited to have her home and kids back to herself. I would be too after having my crazy family running around for a week! Marci is an amazing mom and has a beautiful family. This is them (and us below) when we went to Bass Pro shop.

It was fun being with Marci's family and getting to see many old friends from my childhood! Now it's everyone else's turn to come to us!! Any takers?......

Is it really SPRING?

Chris and I have anxiously been waiting for Spring to come. We have been so excited to see our flowering trees in action. We love trees and put in quite a few last year while doing some landscaping in our yard. I added a bunch of pictures from around the yard, mainly because my sisters have asked to see them. Enjoy! We have a cold snap coming tomorrow, but after that, the yard is where I will be! I had so much fun on Saturday picking out flowers to put in the yard. I feel like a kid in a candy store! I just can't get enough and can't figure out which one to pick! So much fun! Hopefully it will turn out pretty this year. I think I will add a picture of what it looked like last year....if I can find it.

Yoshino Cherry - white flowers (front yard) and Plum Tree - pink tree (backyard)

We have a tradition in our family where we plant tulips and other bulbs in October on Karleigh's birthday. Flowers have always reminded us of her. This last year, we also decided to plant a tree on her birthday in the area where we someday want to make our "Karleigh Garden."

Here are our newest friends! This mommy and daddy duck have decided that the perfect place to lay their eggs is right next to our front porch. It has been so fun to see these two out in the yard everyday. They are together quite often. I guess it's a sign of true love! Hopefully soon we will catch a picture of little ducklings walking around our yard!! How fun is that!

2007 landscaping - This is before it got fully grown. All the flowers got really big!! I will post this years flowers after I get them all done!

I hope you are having a wonderful spring and enjoying all the beautiful colors all around. I just can't get enough of it and wish it would stay this way all summer long!

I WIN......ONCE AGAIN!!!!!

Are there any other wives out there that can sympathise with me?.....Anyone?.....

So here is the story. Out here in good old Indiana, they put the electrical boxes right in the front yard. I guess they think that they are beautiful and will give character to your landscaping. So....I decided that I wanted to put in a new flower bed around it and plant a bunch of grasses to cover them up. So I did the proper thing and had the utility company come out and mark all the wires so that we wouldn't kill ourselves.

So, my good husband decides to get a head start on ripping up the sod by using our neighbors rototiller (sorry we broke into your garage, Ryan and Carrie).....yes, against my wishes. He assures me that he has worked with all kinds of electrical when he used to be an electrician, and also when he did excavation work. Basically - "Auughh, it's all right, honey. I can take care of this one!"....attitude. So - whatever. He set to work.

And the pictures say it all........yes, he is repairing the AT&T phone line that he totally cut in two!!! Auughhh!! SO - needless to say.....once again.....I WIN, CHRIS!!!! I need to start recording all of these wins that I have been getting lately. I am getting quite good, and he is doing quite a good job at giving me reasons to gloat!!!

Anyway, luckily I have a VERY handy husband with many, many talents and he put it all back together! Yes Chris, I still love you completely....but let's just let everyone know right now.....I WIN!!! (wink, wink)

Beautiful Karleigh Ann

Today has been a day of remembrance of our sweet Karleigh. It was three years ago today that she passed away. We had a good day remembering her beautiful smile, curly hair, and sweet personality. She brought us so much joy and taught us more in her 2 1/2 years than we ever thought possible.

I am a firm believer that blessings come in mysterious ways. For three years now, we have thought that we didn't have any videos of her - not one. It has been an extremely hard thing to swallow because I wanted so badly to see her smile in action - not just on a picture.

Last night, Chris and I watched a little video slide show of our kids that my little sister, Joy, put together for us for Christmas. Afterwards, Chris made a comment about how we needed to get our old videos copied onto disks. Then I commented back about how it sure would be nice to have some of Karleigh. He then said that he thought that we might have some. I was in total shock, and knew I would not be able to sleep until I found out. So, needless to say, I found all of the old tapes and found a lot of different clips of Karleigh on them! All the way from her first bath in the hospital, to the Christmas before she passed away - 2004. I was so excited that I had to call my mom and dad at 11:30 PM and tell her the good news. I then stayed up until 2:30 to go through all of the tapes - scouring them for even brief moments of Karleigh!

My mom said that she had just gotten done saying her nightly prayers and had asked that Chris and I be comforted on this day. Then she got the call from me saying that I had found the tapes! Talk about an answer to your prayers! These were the best present I could have and have comforted me so much through this day. We honestly did not think that we had ANY videos of Karleigh. Why it took us three years to figure it out, only Heavenly Father knows. But I firmly believe that He knows what we need WHEN we need it. And He knew that I needed these tapes at this time. I think I probably have an even greater appreciation for them now than I would have a while ago. So tonight for Family Night, we sat on the couch and went through her videos as a family.

What a joy it was to see her smiling face, to hear her voice and to look into her shining eyes again. What an amazing girl she is. She went through so much, yet was so happy despite sickness and pain. I look up to this sweet spirit and can't wait until I am reunited with her again. She helped me grow in more ways than I will ever be able to express. She helped me have a better perspective on life and have a better appreciation for all I have. I look at her struggling to just hold her head up. How blessed we/I am that I have been blessed with a body that functions properly. How blessed I am to know that she will have a perfect body someday. How blessed I am to have been given the wonderful opportunity to be her mother and to care for such a perfect Daughter of God for a brief time.

I miss her terribly, but have been comforted in many ways throughout this week. From pictures of the flowers coming up in front of her headstone, to supportive calls from my mom, siblings, friends, and beautiful heart-felt gifts from dear friends. I thank everyone for their continued support in helping us deal with the pain that sometimes feels almost unbearable. You all make it so I can get through these times and I am eternally grateful for each of you. I hope someday I can return the kindness that you all have shown to me. I love all of you.

I love you, Karleigh and pray that I will live my life in such a way that we will be together forever.

This is a story that describes Chris and my feelings about our time with Karleigh and dealing with her disabilities. In reality, her disabilities were what gave her the ability to touch so many lives - especially ours. This story can also be related to many things in our life, regardless if we have a child with special needs.

Welcome to Holland
by
Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around… and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills… and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.

Apple Blossoms

This blog is kind of turning into my journal in a way. So if you are reading this today, you will need to bear with me as I get some feelings out. I have a lot of mixed emotions these days.

This is the apple tree in our front yard when we lived in CO. This tree was absolutely beautiful when it was in full bloom! The dark pink buds all over the tree are beautiful, but then when they all open up to these pale pink flowers, it is a sight to behold.

This tree symbolizes many different things to me. It gives the hope that a long cold winter will soon be over. It reminds me of the beautiful nature all around me. It symbolizes to me of how each of us are like these little tiny buds - beautiful in our own way. But then when we humbly let our Father in Heaven mold us into what he knows we can become, then we turn into something amazing!

Lastly, these flowers are a symbol to me of the great gift we have all been given through our Savior's sacrifice. We have all been given the opportunity to be resurrected after we leave this earth. And it will be in a perfect body.

This tree had buds all over it the day that we held Karleigh's funeral. It was an amazing day as we said our last goodbye's to our sweetheart. It was a hard day for sure, but a day of peace. When we came home, this is how our apple tree appeared. Beautiful pale, pink flowers all over it! The buds had opened up that day! It was such a comfort to me that a loving Heavenly Father would give me one last thing that day to bring me comfort - and that was in the form of a pale pink flower - Karleigh's color. I will be ever grateful for that.

I remember my dad was standing there with me and I said something like, "Dad, the tree bloomed today! Look how beautiful it is!" He put his arm around me, gave me a big hug and with tears in his eyes said, "Of course it did, Tracy. Of course it did."

Happy Birthday, Chloe!!!

Today is Chloe's birthday!! Has it really been 2 years already?!?! The time sure has flown by! This little Chloe Hope has been such a blessing in our life! Little did she know when she was born (or did she?) that she had a big mission in front of her - to give her Mom and Dad some hope to carry on and much needed cuddle time. She truly has done just that!

This sweet little girl was born April 5th, 2006. She was 6 lb. 14 oz. and 20 in. long. She had black curly hair and was the sweetest little baby. She only cried when she was hungry or needed a diaper change. I prayed so long and hard that our next baby would be healthy and easy to care for. That prayer has been answered time and time again.

This adorabe, blue eyed little angel is my little buddy. I have a hard time leaving her. Chloe is all girl and loves to try make-up and get her hair fixed. I have been fixing her hair since she was a day old (it was an inch long when she was born!), so she is totally used to it and loves it. She absolutely adores Chris and Zach and is learning how to play rough with them. She is talking very well and is a super smart little girl.

We couldn't have asked for a sweeter spirit to come into our home. She is truly our Chloe HOPE and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father that he trusts me enough to care for his precious child. It truly is an honor to be her mother and I hope that I will do a good job raising her. Heavenly Father knows just what we need when we need it - and Chloe was just what I needed at this time in my life story! I love you, Chloe Hope!

Photo Shoot

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the kids photo shoot last Saturday. I am not quite sure what is up with the layout on this...but oh well. I remember telling my mom after Zach was born that I had the ablsolute cutest kid(s) in the world! But then I caught myself and said, "But I bet you thought that yours were the absolute cutest too, huh!" Of which she replied, "YEP!" So, I know that I totally think that my kids are the cutest, and you parents out there think that yours are the absolute cutest! That is the way it is supposed to be!! I hope you all are having fun with your absolutely cute kids!