Grandma, Grandpa and Joy

My parents and little sister, Joy, are leaving today to make their journey from North Carolina all the way to Maine!  Oh, and their new little dog, Sadie!  We get to have them here for Thanksgiving and are SO excited!!!  We are so thankful they are willing to make the trek up here to the cold, and probably rainy, place we call home.  So thankful to have them here for the holiday!!!

My dad is quite an amazing person!  He is always so willing to help others and does an amazing job when he does.  He gets up every morning and runs 3 miles on the treadmill.  He loves his family tremendously and loves to tell not-so-funny jokes that we are supposed to laugh at.  My dad works hard and has often puts up with crappy bosses (and job assignments) at work so he can make sure he is providing for his family.  He is very good about not talking about others behind their back and keeping confidences.  I love my Dad!!

Dad holding newborn Karleigh.  Notice all the blankets on her? 

She had a hard time regulating her body temperature.

Baby Parker chillin' out early in the morning with Grandpa!

My mom is one of my best friends.  I call her when I'm happy, bored, sad, lonely, needing help, the list could go on.  She is always there for me and will drop anything to help one of her kids when they are in need.  She has helped me through more than I can express.  She has been there for the birth of each of my children, even actually in the room when I delivered Chloe.  She was there for every surgery that Karleigh had.  She loves the scriptures and faithfully reads them everyday.  My mom is beautiful inside and out and I am SO grateful that I get to be her daughter.  I love my Mom!!

Mom smiling to Parker. Dad in the background.

Thanksgiving 2008 in Raleigh, NC at Grandma and Grandpa's house!

Kamryn, Grandma and Chloe

Grandma Clay tickling Karleigh.  Karleigh loved her Grandma!

Joy, my youngest and super beautiful sister!  She is fabulous!  She is the sweetest of all of us Clay girls and loves all her neices and nephews.  Of course, they all love her the best and she always gets to be Favorite-of-all-favorites!  Joy was just 4 years old when I got married.  She was my little buddy all the time before I went away to college.  I remember missing her SO much when I went away to college and then even after I got married.  Joy is very smart and works very hard to keep good grades.  She is an excellent violin player and has even started teaching violin lessons.  When any of us older sisters have "fashion questions"...we just call Joy!  She is super stylish and just beautiful.  Not just beautiful in looks, but beautiful inside.  She is kind and caring and gentle.  I love my Joy!!

 Playing with Chloe at the go-cart track in Raleigh back in March.

August 2008 at the Mesa, AZ Temple visitors center.

Beautiful!

Date Night!!!

I am thankful tonight for a MUCH needed date with my hubby!!  And especially grateful to our friend, Sarah, who is so willingly keeping our kids!  The kids are excited and won't miss us a bit!  Yeah for date night!!!

Snuggles & Morgan

I love to snuggle with my kids!  When Zach was really little, I would bring him into my bed most mornings and he would snuggle with me while I tried to finish waking up.  Sometimes when Chris was home, he would go back and forth between both of us for snuggle time.  I loved it.  I also remember many mornings when Chris would already be gone to class and Zach would wake up earlier than I wanted to get up.  I would put him in bed with me and he would then go back to sleep for another 30-60 minutes!  Heaven!

I have done this routine with all of our kids.  Those snuggle times with Karleigh are etched in my memories and I love that I have those to help heal my heart.  She loved to be held close and I loved to listen to her breathe (quite loudly) and just stroke her little face and arms and hands.  It would calm her little muscles that wanted to move wherever they decided at that point.  We would talk, laugh and just be.  It was wonderful!

 Parker is so full of mischief, climbing and curiosity all the time.  But last night, right after dinner, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Neck hurt."  I rushed him to the toilet where we made it just in time for him to throw up in the toilet.  He looked at me crying and said, "Spit in toilet!"  Then all he wanted to do was snuggle on the couch and for me to "hold you" (hold me). 

This morning after eating breakfast (Chloe was still asleep and Zach was gone to school), I wasn't feeling too particularly great.  My sweet little Parker brought me a book and said, "read it, snuggle!"  That is code for...get the big blanket out, lay down on the couch with me snuggling next to you as close as we can and then read me a story.  We read and reread some of his favorite books (favorite for right now).  He laid by me for a very long time, "nice and warm" as he says.  Then we sang songs and played tickles and played, "oh no, here comes daddy!  HIDE!"...to which he would cling even tighter to me and say, "Oh no, save me!", to which I would get to squeeze him even tighter and get squeezed back. 

I was grateful for this little bit of snuggle time alone with my baby this morning.  It was wonderful while it lasted and oh, how I wish it would have lasted longer.  For the rest of the morning, he was a tornado around the house - getting into everything that he wasn't supposed to...over and over and over!  The second Chloe tells me she has to go to the bathroom (because she always has to let me know everything little thing she does and where she will be - and I have to do the same!), Parker will take off running as fast as he can to beat her to the bathroom.  All he wants to do is stand there while she is in the bathroom, but he knows it bugs Chloe to death and he can get her to scream!  It is quite hillarious to watch his face when he does it!  He loves to tease her already because he can get such a rise out of her!  He does the same thing when I tell her to go get dressed or clean her room.  He takes off full speed to get there before she does so that he doesn't get locked out of the room.  Funny!

I am grateful for his happy little self that loves to say everything these days and makes me laugh.  I am so glad he is such a snuggly boy and that even though he keeps me going all the time - he is just as genuinely sweet and nice as can be.  He really is just such a nice little boy!  He loves to hug anyone and everyone - even weirdos at Wal-Mart.  He loves to say Hi to everyone.  He is obsessed with a little baby doll and always tells me that she is crying and he needs to give it a hug.  He then puts the doll to his chest and pats her back gently.  Seriously, he is just a darling little guy!  Have I said that already?!?  I love my boy and I am so grateful I get to be his mom!!!

And one last little "I'm grateful" today...

To my darling, beautiful little neice, Morgan. 

This is my sister, Marci's, daughter.  Morg's turned 7 years old today!!  Happy Birthday, Morgan! 

You see, Morgan was the only other Clay grandchild born when we had Karleigh.  Morgan's middle name is Ann, same as Karleigh's.  She loved Karleigh and Karleigh loved her! (most of the time - see below)  She is only a little over a year younger than Karleigh, so seeing her do things has often times brought thoughts to my mind of, oh yeah, Karleigh would have done that last year, maybe. 

Since Karleigh passed, Morgan has always held a special place in her heart for my little girl and I am grateful to little Miss Morgan for remembering Karleigh and loving her for who she was.  (and I couldn't say that Morgan did it all on her own.  Her wonderful mom, Marci, has very much kept Karleigh's memory alive for Morgan!)  Thanks, Morgan for loving your cousin!  She loved you lots and I am sure watches over you often!  I love you!!!  Happy Birthday, Morg's!!!

(Karleigh-1 1/2, Zach-4 and Morgan-8 or 9 months - the girls wearing the matching dresses Grandma Clay picked out!)

Doctors and Nurses

My sister-in-law, Melanie, has had a rough week, but hopefully is on the mend.  She was due with her 6th child in 5 1/2 weeks and her body decided to go into labor early.  Though I have only some of the info, what I know is that she ended up being transfered by ambulance to a bigger hospital, because she also came down with appendicitis!  How awful!!  So, last night they did a cesarean to take the baby out and then she went right in for more surgery to have her appendix removed!  As far as the update last night, she and the baby are doing ok. 

So, Chris and I (and the rest of the family) are very grateful for doctors and nurses that know what they are doing, and do it well.  We are thankful that Melanie didn't develop the appendicitis way earlier in her pregnancy!  And we are also very grateful to have another little neice!  Welcome to the world, baby de Gaston!!  We love you, Mel, and pray for a speedy recovery!

Hmmm...

Well...let's be honest...today was one of those days where it is hard to feel grateful about a lot.  Not because I didn't have a good day or get the things accomplished that I set out to do.  No, I actually DID get Chloe's, Parker's AND my room cleaned today!  Doesn't sound like much?...well, you didn't see them when I started, did you!!?!??! 

Like I do most every Saturday, I call the kids up from their Saturday morning cartoons or movie and hand them their list of chores.  They know the drill.  Get it done - have a great rest of the day playing and doing whatever.  Whine and complain and be rude...earn extra jobs!  Well, let's just say that a certain child of mine wasn't too in the mood to do the work asked and decided that throwing fits and doing half-way jobs (my pet-peeve) ALL day would be a better decision.  Hmmm...I am not sure it was such a good decision on this childs part.  Extra jobs were handed out and extra whining, complaining and being rude followed.  Thus, my thoughts haven't quite been on the gratitude scale they should be today. 

But, I did have some time of peace and nice-ness from said child, so I did try to remind myself to think of something I was grateful for.  And here are my thoughts today....

Darling little Parker decided that 6:45 AM was wake-up time....on a Saturday!  BOO!  BUT...what I am grateful for is that my nice hubby got up with him (and the other two kids that soon were up) and took them downstairs for a bowl of cereal.  He then did the dishes (yes, yes...from last night...hey...it wasn't my dishnight!!  He was quite exhausted last night from a horrible day at work.), and kept the kids down there with him.  An hour later he returns with Parker-pants so he could go get started out in the garage like we had planned he would.  An hour?  Did I really get to doze back off to sleep for a whole hour!?!?!  Oh yes, I was grateful!  This bladder of mine seems to not want to work at night and I am up quite a lot these days!  So thanks Chris for the extra sleep!

Chris also did something else for me today.  I am not quite sure WHAT it was that he did, I just know he did something.  Something with the breaks on my van.  You see, quite some time ago, Chris changed my breaks on the van and ever since, when I back down our driveway, they squeak and squeal. Yes, annoying and embarrasing, but sometimes if I did it just right, it wouldn't squeak.  So last week, he finally got around to getting them fixed (it may or may not have been because I threatened to take it to the shop), and walla! No more squeaking!!!....just a scratching noise when I stopped.  He said the rotors just needed to be turned.  Well, tonight when I drove the van...there was nothing.  NO sounds!!  I don't know what he did to fix it...but it was a lovely thing to not hear anything!  So, I am super grateful for that!  I guess Chris won a bunch of bonus points today, eh?

The last thing I am thankful for today is the fact that even though my little 1 1/2 year old decided that nap-time was "jump-in-my-bed-as-high-as-I-can" time today all while saying "Mommy, come here!" over and over - he still managed to be a super darling, happy little huggable kid all day long!  I have drilled into him the following statement, to which he promptly and happily replies....

Me: "Parker, guess what?!?"
Parker: "Huh?"
Me: "Mommy loves...."
Parker: "Parker!"
Me: "Parker loves...."
Parker: "Mommy!"

(Photo taken January 2010 - he's a lot bigger now!!)

Sometimes he will want to tease me and fill in the blanks with different names.  Most always, that is how we say it and then he usually will give me a "squeezee hug" and kiss!  I love my baby! (who's not really a baby anymore!)  I am all geared up to potty train soon...!  Yikes!  But he is totally ready, it is just me that is not quite sure I am.  He loves to sit on the big toilet and go both, so, hopefully soon, we will get started with that.  Wish us (I mean me!) luck!!

Music

Last night I accompanied on the piano two woman singing at our Relief Society meeting.  Our ward does their Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner early so that more people can come.  The woman sang beautiful and it was fun to play for someone again.  I sat down and my thoughts drifted from the next speaker to how grateful I am for musical talent.  It really has blessed my life immensly. 

Which then made me think of my wonderful parents and all the sacrifices they made to pay for and take me to lessons.  All the hours my mom spent driving me to and from, along with my sisters, adds up to LOTS of time!  And let's not forget when I was younger and first starting lessons that my mom was my teacher!  So, lots of time and energy spent sitting next to me teaching me the notes and helping me understand what I was doing. 

And now in hindsight, I am thankful for all the drama my mom had to go through to get me to even sit and practice.  Now, I don't nessecarily think I am overly grateful to my mom to humming the correct note to me EVERY time I messed up!  Right, MOM!!  Urrgghh, that bugged!  But, I guess it in a way has helped me to be able to pick out notes better while sightreading music while singing. =)

My mom was the driving factor behind us kids learning to sing and play and instrument.  My dad loved us doing it and was glad to pay for it, but it was my mom who had to do all the shuttling around and reminders to practice.  I am thankful for my mom and for the influence her musical abilities has been on my life. 

I am grateful for all the piano teachers I have had, yes, even my mom.  My favorite piano teacher would definetely be Sandy Beck, my wonderful friend, Heidi's mom.  She is such a sweet and caring lady and I loved taking lessons from her.  My sisters and I took lessons from Sandy, and her kids took from my mom. Which worked out perfect because while the other siblings were doing their lessons, we would get to go play up in Heidi's room!  Barbies, Barbies, Barbies!!  Heidi had ALL the Barbie stuff, or so it seemed!  The Barbie house, the Barbie car, tons of clothes, Ken dolls!  All the stuff we dreamed of having!  We wouldn't want to go down for lessons because we were having too much fun!  Thanks for sharing all your Barbies and toys, Heidi!! 

Lastly, I am grateful that one of my callings at church is the ward organist.  That was a scary proposition when they asked me since I had never touched the thing before!  I think it is a lot different than the piano.  I still don't know how to do the foot pedals, and maybe someday I will figure that out.  I was pretty nervous to play at first and believe me, there were many songs that sounded pretty strange for those singing!  Let's just say, you have to make sure you are playing in the right key signature...not the key signature of the last song you just played!  =)  But I KNEW that Heavenly Father would help me learn to play the organ because He wasn't going to want me to totally bomb it every week and totally drive the Spirit from the meeting.  He has helped me learn the organ and has never let me bomb it so bad that I wanted to run out of the chapel in tears...almost a couple times....but it ended up being ok. 

So, I am thankful for being able to play the piano and also carry a tune vocally.  While I am far from anything awesome in either, it is nice to pull out of my back pocket when needed.  I am grateful for it!

Needing more gratitude

It is almost 1:30 in the morning.  Tonight, I actually went to bed early - as in I was in my bed laying down a couple minutes before 9!  That rarely happens!  But...I was tired...or so I thought.  I had the bed to myself the last few nights as Chris was out of town.  Well, except for the night the wind and rain howled so loudly and scared Chloe and she ended up crawling in bed with me for most of the night.  But...2 out of the 3 nights, I had it to myself.  I don't like it when Chris is gone, but after our time living in Indiana where he traveled Monday - Friday almost weekly for 3 years...it is not such a shock anymore.  Thankfully, he got home safely tonight (after driving all afternoon and being exhausted, he then had to go to the store and buy me a new battery for my car and install it as my car decided to competely die after a certain little boy left the light on for a day! It's ok though...it needed to be replaced.  I just feel bad he had to do it tonight.)  Tonight though...I kept waking up - over and over.  Yeah, part of it probably was due to the fact that a certain person kept snoring...but, it was also just me.  I couldn't sleep.  SO...here I am blogging and trying to figure out how to finally make a book from my blog posts!  

I have had this lingering thought lately that I have not been very grateful for all of the things I have.  I am grateful for the obvious things, but often overlook the small things - things I take for granted.  I have been in a slump for the last couple months.  Why?  Well, probably because I haven't felt very good...ya know, morning sickness can do that to you!  Yep, that's right!  Stimpson baby #5 will be making his/her arrival next May!  We are excited!  It was a bit of a surprise, but a fabulous surprise nonetheless. I am almost 13 weeks, so hopefully will be done with the sickies soon!  

8 week ultrasound - Yes, there are multiple sacs, if your wondering. No, there are not multiple babies growing. Only one baby actually developed. I'm bummed, Chris is relieved!

So when you feel pukey for 2 months and other stressors going on (yes, I know I sound like a wanny-pants because there are many people that have it way worse!), I have kind of gotten into this blah slump and haven't been very observant of all that I DO have.  I have much to be thankful for and I need to remind myself more of that. 

President Monson's talk in the October conference just reaffirmed that need.  He said,

"My brothers and sisters, do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive? Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love.

A grateful heart...comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives. This requires conscious effort—at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude. Often we feel grateful and intend to express our thanks but forget to do so or just don’t get around to it. Someone has said that “feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”


When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given."
 
So that is my goal for the next long while.  I want to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, because as President Monson also says, "Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love."  I need to feel more of that love from above.  I need to be more worthy of that love and recognize it.  
 
Most days, I am going to try to post something I am grateful for.  I know...kind of doesn't seem possible given my blogging record.  But, I will try.  Hopefully, I will be able to be more grateful and recognize all that I have.  I don't really think many people even read this blog much anymore, but if you do...here is what I am thankful for in the middle of the night tonight...
 
A tiny little baby growing inside my belly.  It truly is a miraculous thing if you think about it!  I am grateful for this opportunity to help grow our family and count my blessings that I am able to.  The whole process of having a baby has never come easy to Chris and I (with this baby being the exception).  It usually took a while and then being pregnant is not a fun thing for me.  Delivery has not always gone as smoothly as I would have liked, but I am here and that is all that matters.  I am thankful for the opportunity to once again participate in another little miracle and pray that I will be able to remember that despite the pain and discomfort of pregnancy.

Guests and tulips

October was kind of a crazy up and down month and flew by very fast.  In a lot of ways, that is a good thing.  I sometimes think that things happen all at once for reasons unknown at the time.  It was busy with Brittany (Chris's youngest sister) and her family in town, and then my sister, Mindi and her family in town.  I never thought that when we moved clear out here to Maine at the end of the world it seemed like, that we would have visitors!!  We are missing Brittany and her family since they just moved away.  It was fun to have them living so close by in Boston!  We loved having Mindi's family here!  Those little people of hers are just darling and I miss their cuteness around my house.  We really do enjoy visitors...so if anyone wants to travel to New England for the winter...(haha...I know...ya right!) 

Little Miss Abby, Brittany and John's little girl and Parker's buddy!!  I got to do her hair and she actually kept it in all day!!  She is a dolly face!

Mindi, Ryan, Kamryn and Carson (twins!) and baby Weston.  Chloe was in heaven with two little people her age to play with all week!  I wish they could be together more often and I wish I could squish that hefty Weston some more!  They are such good kids and I miss them lots!  It was fun to see Mindi and Ryan too and have late night chats with them!

Karleigh's birthday this year was different.  Not because we thought of her any less, but because of the circumstances.  I had been having some testing done late into the night the night before Karleigh's birthday (don't worry, I'm fine) and upon leaving, I got a text from my dear friend, TJ telling me they were headed out to CA to be by her brother's side as he was passing away from his battle with Leukemia and a bone marrow transplant.  I immediately called her as soon as I got to my car to head home and we cried together.  I wanted to tell her it would be ok and that he would make it.  But I remembered someone telling me that as I drove to the hospital to see my dying child and hating those words afterwards.  I am sure what I said was probably of little comfort and didn't ease her pain.  I wish I had just the right words to say in hard times, but I often stumble and mess up.  I only hope I didn't make it worse.

Through the night, we sent brief messages and I just had such a hard time sleeping as I felt so horrible for TJ, Tiffany, her parents, her family and Todd's wife and son.  I lay their envisioning what they were going through, knowing I really only have a small clue.  So, so sad - beyond sad.  That morning, on Karleigh's birthday, I recieved TJ's message telling me he had passed.  I rolled over and showed Chris the message and cried.  Cried for my friends.  Cried at the loss of a good man, who had so much going for him and his family.  Cried for the pain that they feel and cried for the pain that I felt as my dear friends ached and longed for their wonderful brother and son.  Tears still come freely as I think of what a great loss this is for their family.  I wished so bad that I could fly out there and hug my friends as they grieved...as if that would make it all better.  I knew it wouldn't...but I just wanted to be there for support.

The day started out rather slowly as Chris and I felt such pain for them, probably made even more tender by our own personal circumstances.  We decided that although we felt such sorrow for TJ and her family, we still needed to remember our daughter's special day.  Chef Zach made the cupcakes all by himself and Chloe helped me decorate them.  The kids helped package the tulips and get everything ready to take to a few friends.  Chris talked me into taking a brief nap so that I could enjoy the rest of the day, since the few days before were so exhausting.  After I woke up, we all went outside (including my niece Abby who we were tending for the weekend) and planted Karleigh's tulips.  I love that we can plant bulbs on her birthday and they come up in the spring around the time she passed away.  Such a wonderful way to remember her and I am thankful that we started that tradition on Karleigh's 3rd birthday, the first on after she passed.  Although, I am assuming up here in cold, cold Maine, they probably won't bloom until after her April date...but that's ok.  Maybe they will be peeking out of the ground by then. 

Happy 8th Birthday, sweet Karleigh girl.  We love you and miss your smiling face. 

US

(Fall 2010 - Taken with our own handy-dandy camera.

Thanks to Chris for running back and forth to set the timer!)

The White Dress

Karleigh's eighth birthday is fast approaching. Saturday, October 16th, 2010 is the day. This is a special birthday for most children with families in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is the year that they can choose to be baptized. They are able to make that important decision with God to take the name of Christ upon them and also be able to be blessed to receive the Holy Ghost, the Comfortor.

(Picture illustrating the three white dresses worn throughout a girl's life.

Baby blessing dress, Baptism dress and Wedding dress)

There is kind of an unspoken tradition in the Mormon culture for the little girls to get a new beautiful white dress to wear on their baptism day. This little white dress, for some reason, has really weighed on my mind the last month or so. I miss my little girl so much and want so badly to see her in her beautiful white dress on her baptism day.

But the thing is, I have already dressed her and seen her in a beautiful white dress. Yes, it was beautiful, just like her, but it was put on her at a much earlier age than I would have envisioned. It is hard for me on this upcoming 8th birthday to know that I have already dressed my sweet girl in her white dress and she is not here to wear her baptism white dress. That is the selfish side of my thinking.

Karleigh's Beautiful White dress with butterflies

The silver lining to this 8 year old white dress, is that I envision her now with her white dress on as she goes about the Father's kingdom in Heaven doing good and helping others. How indescribable and beautiful that white dress must be! And quite frankly, tha tis the white dress that really matters in the end. She has made it! My sweet Karleigh has made it back to live with our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Chris. That is what I hope and pray for all of my children, as well as my husband and myself. That is what I hope and pray for everyone - not just my family.

I have had many hard moments of struggling with the thought of not getting to see my beautiful daughter as an 8 year old in her beautiful white dress. Sometimes, I feel cheated. Sometimes, I don't. Sometimes, I feel angry. Most times, I feel grateful and blessed. Sometimes, I feel strong. Other times, I don't. But the thing that has been shown me over and over is that there is a plan. A plan for each of us. A plan for our life and purpose to our life. My sweet Karleigh fulfilled her purpose. She had a mission to accomplish on this earth, and she did it. When it was done, God called her home. She had a very hard life, but a very full life. She had a life filled with physical challenges, but a life filled with happiness and love.

For this reason, I have decided on an 8th birthday gift for my sweet girl. I can't dress her in a beautiful white dress and hug her with all the pride that a mother can muster. But I can do all I can to make sure that her life is remembered. That the things that she went through are not in vain. I can do my part to help her brothers and sisters know as much as they can about their darling sister and hopefully, they will never ever take for granted all that they have. I can help my children know how much love their sister had for them, even if some of them weren't even born yet. How do I know? Because she loved her brother, Zach more than anything! I know it would have been carried through to any other silblings she would have had while sh was here.

I have prayed for guidance in what to write. I have prayed that I will be able to write it, even when it gets difficult. I have prayed that the memories of all the little things will become fresh in my mind again. I want to record the life of my sweet girl. Why? Because I LOVE HER! Because she matters! She matters to me and the rest of this family and most importantly, she matters to our Heavenly Father. Her life meant something. The struggles she went through, meant something. I was with her day and night for almost all of her entire life. I am the one that knew her best. I have the obligation to make sure her life is not forgotten. She deserves it. Up unil now, it has been to painful to go through all the details and record them. But, I know that if I put my faith in my Heavenly Father, He will provide the way for me to do this. I look forward to the time I will spend recording memories and feelings.

I haven't decided if I will post them on the blog or not. I might. Those of you interested, please let me know. There will be a lot of little details that may or may not be of interest to others except for maybe Chris and I. But really, this blog is more for my own family's sake than for everyone elses, so I may just post it simply for that. I will decide soon. I have started it, but it will be a work in progress that will take a while.

But know that I am fine. I feel at peace right now. It is the same peace I have felt with many other of her anniversaries. I miss her. That will never end. The sad feelings about missing out on the white dress have subsided (thanks to many wonderful talks at General Conference) and I am busy working on Karleigh's birthday celebration traditions for our family. The kids are excited to have cake for her, although, Chloe was a bit sad that Karleigh couldn't eat it with us. I have tulips all ready to plant and am working on a couple other things. Hopefully the forcasted rain with stay away for a while on that day!

New England Fall

It's autumn time, it's autumn time, the leaves are falling down....

(song from the Primary songbook)

So, if you remember back in July, I posted a picture of the beautiful scenery from my back porch. Remember it looked like this...

Well, we are full-blown in the midst of a New England fall now and it is just beautiful outside!! I have heard many, many people talk about the vibrant colors in New England, and am excited to be seeing it with my very own eyes! It truly is breath-taking and these pictures do not do it justice! But hey, I tried. The colors really are more vibrant than these pictures show, especially when the sunlight hits them just right!

Out in front of my house...

"A Few of My Favorite Things"

By: Hilary Weeks

Oh, this is the truth somedays!!! Enjoy!!

Until We Meet Again

Big, Bigger and Biggest...

My Biggest...

5th Grader and last year of Elementary School! SCARY!!!!

I love your freckles, handsome boy! My Bigger...

Preschooler for one more year and then off to ALL DAY Kindergarten and riding a school bus NEXT year!! SCARY...and very, very sad for her mom that is pretty much obsessed with her!!! You are beautiful, girly-girl!! My Big...

1 1/2 year old CLIMBER that is into everything and has the attention span of a gnat!! BUT who brings me endless amounts of smiles, laughter and snuggles! Even with your butched hair that I cried many tears about (literally!), you are still the cutest and most handsome toddler around - if I do say so myself!!!

I wonder if the neighbors saw...

I have realized that having kids is just an open invitation for embarrasing moments. That is just a fact of life. It is just something they are good at! At least - my kids are!! The happenings of this morning have made me reflect back on some of those times and get a few chuckles while remembering.

How about the time when Zach was I think 3 or so, (Marci, correct me if I am wrong on this, since you are the culprit) we were out visiting my family in MO. My sister, Marci, Zach and I went to the grocery store for a few things. Marci thought it would be fun to challenge Zach to scream as LOUD as he could, not really thinking he actually would. Guess she didn't know my child well enough to know that the word, LOUD and Stimpson children go hand in hand! So Zach proceeded to scream as loud as he possibly could!! To the point that it sounded like he was being abused! I quickly shut him up, and gave Marci the evil eye and smacked her (I think...if I didn't, I should have!), to which she and Zach then laughed hysterically.

Or how about when just recently, we were at an equestrian center looking at some beautiful horses. We had instructed the kids that the rules asked that we not touch the horses and bother them. So when Chloe saw an older man that had long grey hair petting a horse, she exclaimed very loudly, "Dad, why is that lady petting the horse?!" "Shhh" said Chris. That didn't satisfy Chloe because she really wanted an answer so she asked again and again. And yes, he heard.

Or how about after checking out at Costco and while waiting at the front of the store (in front of the checkout lines) for my new phone, Parker reaches back in the cart and proceeds to dump 18 eggs out all over the cart and floor! The poor clean-up lady! Luckily, she was very pleasant, but I was mortified.

But the funniest memory to pop back in my head was of my wonderful Zach. Oh, my Zach. He is quite the funny dude. Always has been. But he has embarrased his parents oh so many times! On this particular day, he and I were at home in our little apartment in California. He was about 2 years old and talking in complete sentences. I had a woman from church whom I didn't know real well coming over to bring me some stuff for Young Women's. Before she came, I had to use the bathroom. She got there right before I finished up and rang the doorbell. I told Zach to hang on and not get the door, but he was so excited to see who it was that he ran to the door and let her in. I then hear him say, "My mom will be out in a minute. She is pooping right now!!" I quickly finished my buisness and went out to greet our company, completely embarrased!

Why did these memories pop back into my head today?

Well, often while Chloe, Parker and I eat breakfast, we call my mom because Chloe usually has something to tell her. So, today was no different, except for she really wanted to dial the number herself. So, I proceeded to tell her the number....1-919...to which she accidently dialed....1-911. I quickly hung up in the middle of the first ring, hoping that I caught it early enough before it connected through and then proceeded to dial my mom's number for Chloe.

Uh...well...I guess I wasn't fast enough! The dispatcher soon called back to make sure everything and everyone was fine. I explained it was an accident from my 4 year old. She took my name and made sure things were fine and then hung up. I clicked back over to my mom, and told her what had happened and we laughed.

Not to long after that, I get a knock at my door...it was two young cops! My dog is out in the front yard and he is thrilled for visitors, so he proceeds to say hello and shed all over one cops nicely pressed uniform! So, I open my door, quickly grab my dog, explain the situation again. All the while, these two young cops, who looked fresh out of highschool and I am sure did not have kids...where not ammused! They wouldn't crack a smile and while proceeded to write down my name and birthdate, the other very dramatically brushed his pants off. After assuring them everything was ok, they went on their way. I closed my door and then got back on the phone with my mom! I said, "Hmmm, wonder if my neighbors saw them?!" To which she assured me that they most likely did and we laughed some more! Embarrasing! (although, I am sure it could have been worse!)

Embarrasing moments....I am glad that I get to have them because that means I have darling little children to keep me on my toes and to bring me much laughter!!!

And a cute picture of my girly that started the fun memories today...

BOSTON

Chris and I were super lucky to be able to have a weekend getaway to Boston at the end of August to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary! We were so excited to go and spend time together - alone - without other distractions. Sadly, we realized that the last small getaway we had was about 5 1/2 years ago in Colorado for Valentine's Day. Not cool! We stayed in Boulder and then went cross-country skiing all day. It was quite fun!!

Taken in 2005 - XC skiing trip getaway for Valentine's Day

It was about 2 months before Karleigh passed away. (we are not counting our house hunting trips that we usually go on every couple years with the kids. Those really aren't a vacation because they are stressful and full of chaos!) So, after 5 1/2 years...we were due for a trip! Lucky for us, we had some free hotel nights and another gift card to use for food! Yippee!!

Brittany, John and Abby were fabulous and wonderful to offer to keep our kids while we were away! How wonderful it was to know that our kids were in good hands and having a good time with their relatives. We sure are going to miss them when they move!! They got to go swimming and watch movies and just play, play, play!! Thank you, Brittany and John for everything!!! Can I just add a little blip about my cute sister-in-law, Brittany? She really is one of the sweetest girls I know. I think she was about 12 or 13 when I first met her while Chris and I were dating. She shared her room with me when I came to the Stimpson's house to meet the fam and I have adored her ever since! She is very soft-spoken and is always kind to everyone she meets. She is beautiful and darling and a fabulous mother! I love watching how gentle she is with her sweet Abby. I love her!

We left on Friday afternoon and drove down to the Boston Temple to do a session. That was a great way to start off our weekend! It is a beautiful temple, inside and out! But really, aren't they all?!

The next day (Saturday) we caught a cab to take us to Long Wharf where we caught our boat to go whale watching!! So fun!! Neither of us have ever been out on a boat in the ocean, plus to get to see some huge massive animals...we were excited! While we were riding the boat for an hour to get out to the whale feeding grounds, we both agreed that we would love to someday do all kinds of outdoor-sy trips. Ya know - like go on a safari, visit the Amazon, Austrailia and many more places were listed! It's ok to have dreams, right!

(Note to self: do not spend a lot of time curling your hair when it is just going to get whipped around crazily by the wind on the boat!! Uh, yeah, not smart!! It was straight after the boat ride!)

The whale watching trip, although crowded with people trying to catch that awesome glimpse of the whales, was actually even a bit romantic! Just the thought of being on a boat in the ocean with the man I love... Well, anyway... we followed a group of about 3 whales. They didn't give us too many tail fin shows, but it was still fun to watch them blow the air high above the surface and to just watch how gracefully they move. Beautiful, magnificant animals! Seeing these huge animals just gave us an even greater appreciation for all the beautiful creations on this earth. Amazing!

Looking at Boston from the boat as we headed back to the wharf.

After getting back from whale watching, we found a little outdoor restaraunt there on the wharf and split a small yummy pizza. We sat and chatted and laughed and laughed. It was super relaxing and many fun memories were shared. After lunch, we went to the IMAX theatre and watched a couple 3-D movies. We then decided to walk around the north side (or the Italian section of town) and window shop and look around. It was packed with people, but still so fun to just be in a big city, holding hands and being together! It was fun to be with Chris in that big, BIG city! We found a cute tiny little Italian restaraunt to eat dinner at. We enjoyed the intimate, quite setting - but mostly, enjoyed each other's company!

I thought this clock tower was really neat, but I couldn't get a good picture of it. So, being the nice guy he is, Chris spent forever trying to get a good picture. With all the lights everywhere, it was hard to get the camera to focus right where we wanted it.

Outside our hotel was the Paramount theatre. We needed one last snapshot of us before heading home on Sunday.

I am so grateful we were able to build the memories we have from our 12th anniversary getaway in Boston! It really made me stop and think about how easy it is to go about our daily lives and just get into the hum-drum of daily living. I miss spending one on one time with Chris - more than just an hour here and there. But if that's all that life with kids, church callings, work and life will allot, then I will gladly take it. It is so important to step out of the norm every once in a while and spend time reconnecting with the one you fell in love with. But it doesn't have to be on a trip, either. It can be in the little things you do every day for each other. The kind note left in his lunch, the ironed shirts, the flowers for "just because I love you", the phone call just to check to see how the other is doing, the backrub after a long day at work (even mommy work!), nice long love letters (one of my favorite!), snuggling up on the couch for a chat and laugh, reminising of fun memories, and the list could go on. I have realized that I do not do enough little things for Chris. I know that I try, but oftentimes I fall short. I have made a goal to do better at letting him know in tiny little ways that I love him. And I have also made a goal to try to notice all the tiny little things he does to show his love for me - because there is a lot, and I often am to sidetracked to notice.

I am grateful for the man I fell in love with 12 1/2 years ago. I am grateful for the memories we have. I am grateful for the lessons we have learned and where we are today. I am grateful that we have weathered many storms together. I have a good husband. He is a good man. He is a talented man. He is extremely intellegent and very good at anything he sets his mind to. He loves his family and is the best dad anyone could ask for. He adores our darling children and that in turn, makes me adore him even more! We are far from the perfect couple. Those storms, well, they have knocked us down many, many times. But I am thankful that we have been able to brush ourselves off and keep on pushing. I am grateful for the man that I get to call MINE! He is wonderful and I don't tell him that enough.

I am looking forward to the next getaway trip! I don't know when it will be, but I sure as heck hope it doesn't have to be in another 5 1/2 years!!!

I love you, Chris! Thank you for the fun trip and then even funner memories!!!