Last Day of 2nd grade!!!

Well, it's official! My handsome Zach has finished 2nd grade and now thinks he wants to go to 3rd. Wasn't he just crawling around in diapers not that long ago? It's so not fair how fast he is growing up! He had a great year! He has grown up so much this past year and is turning out to be quite the guy! The other boy in this picture is his best bud, Connor. He is our neighbor and I also watched him every day after school this year. It was great having a play buddy for Zach.

We celebrated the end of school this afternoon (they had a half day) by taking a picnic lunch to the park and then playing for 2 hours! It was an absolutely gorgeous day today - about 70 degrees, breezy and not a cloud in the sky! Oh, and NO humidity! Just beautiful! The park was packed with kids and parents enjoying the afternoon. The boys played tag for a bit and then decided the huge sandbox looked pretty fun. Chloe thought the "sleed" (slide) was tons of fun, as well as the swings. I am grateful Zach is out of school now and that we will have more time to spend together.

Smell the flower Chloe!!

Chloe had picked me a flower on her walk and wanted to smell it. (Notice it is more blowing than smelling!) Darling girl!


Yesterday Chloe kept going up to her room and getting lots of "hair bows" to put in her hair. She wanted to sit on the bathroom counter and tell me how to put them in too! I am not quite sure why she was so into it, but it was fun to watch her reaction when it was done. She just kept flipping her head back and forth, smiling at herself and thinking she was so beautiful! I have to agree with her though!

Last week I just happened to have my camera handy while she went out and played in the rain. She had a lot of fun wearing Zach's old rain jacket! Now she thinks she has to wear it all the time! Zach's bus got home right as she was playing and she took off running to go see him! She was SO excited he was home!!!

Do you have a few minutes to read??

I know most of you have heard or read this talk. The last few weeks have been especially difficult and this talk has helped me through some rough times. I am grateful for our leaders and for their guidance. Read or reread it when you have time.

Daughters of God

Daughters of God
Elder M. Russell Ballard Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.
Brothers and sisters, recently my wife, Barbara, had back surgery and could not lift, twist, or bend. Consequently, I have done more lifting, twisting, and bending than ever before—and it has made me more appreciative of what women, and especially you mothers, do every day in our homes.

While women live in homes under many different circumstances—married, single, widowed, or divorced, some with children and some without—all are beloved of God, and He has a plan for His righteous daughters to receive the highest blessings of eternity.

This afternoon I want to focus my remarks primarily on mothers, particularly on young mothers.

As a young father, I learned the demanding role of motherhood. I served as a counselor and then as bishop for a period of 10 years. During that time we were blessed with six of our seven children. Barbara was often worn-out by the time I got home Sunday evening. She tried to explain what it was like to sit on the back row in sacrament meeting with our young family. Then the day came that I was released. After sitting on the stand for 10 years, I was now sitting with my family on the back row.

The ward’s singing mothers’ chorus was providing the music, and I found myself sitting alone with our six children. I have never been so busy in my whole life. I had the hand puppets going on both hands, and that wasn’t working too well. The Cheerios got away from me, and that was embarrassing. The coloring books didn’t seem to entertain as well as they should.

As I struggled with the children through the meeting, I looked up at Barbara, and she was watching me and smiling. I learned for myself to more fully appreciate what all of you dear mothers do so well and so faithfully!

A generation later, as a grandfather, I have watched the sacrifices my daughters have made in rearing their children. And now, still another generation later, I am watching with awe the pressures on my granddaughters as they guide their children in this busy and demanding world.

After observing and empathizing with three generations of mothers and thinking of my own dear mother, I surely know that there is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part- or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. This eternally important work falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners. I am grateful that today many fathers are more involved in the lives of their children. But I believe that the instincts and the intense nurturing involvement of mothers with their children will always be a major key to their well-being. In the words of the proclamation on the family, “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).

We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult. Through my own four-generation experience in our family, and through discussions with mothers of young children throughout the Church, I know something of a mother’s emotions that accompany her commitment to be at home with young children. There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives.

As a Church, we have enormous respect and gratitude to you mothers of young children. We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve. So today, let me ask and briefly answer four questions. While my answers may seem extremely simple, if the simple things are being tended to, a mother’s life can be most rewarding.

The first question: What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?

First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.

Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).

Second, don’t overschedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.

Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.

Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”

The second question: What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?

First, show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you—often. Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.

Second, have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.

Third, give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does. You may do a lot of lifting, twisting, and bending!

Fourth, come home from work and take an active role with your family. Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.

The third question: What can children, even young children, do? Now, you children, please listen to me because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother.

You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.

You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.

Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.

The last question: What can the Church do?

There are many things the Church offers to mothers and families, but for my purpose today may I suggest that the bishopric and the ward council members be especially watchful and considerate of the time and resource demands on young mothers and their families. Know them and be wise in what you ask them to do at this time in their lives. Alma’s counsel to his son Helaman applies to us today: “Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).

I hope all of you dear sisters, married or single, never wonder if you have worth in the sight of the Lord and to the leaders of the Church. We love you. We respect you and appreciate your influence in preserving the family and assisting with the growth and the spiritual vitality of the Church. Let us remember that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). The scriptures and the teachings of the prophets and apostles help all family members to prepare together now to be together through all eternity. I pray that God will continually bless the women of the Church to find joy and happiness in their sacred roles as daughters of God.

Now, in closing, I want to add my witness of President Monson’s prophetic call. I have known him since he was 22 and I was 21. That’s 58 years. I have watched the hand of the Lord prepare him for this day to preside over the Church as the prophet and President. And I add my testimony, along with all of the other testimonies that have been borne through this conference, of his special calling as President of the Church, and add my testimony, along with all of the others, that Jesus is the Christ and this is His Church. We are doing His work, to which I testify in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Zach's 2nd grade writing assignments...

I thought I would share two little stories that I found of Zach's as I went through his paperwork tonight. They are pretty cute!

Story #1

May 13, 2008
Dear Grandma, Grandpa, Joy and Brian,

Will you please take me to Frankies? We will have a blast. We'll be able to go on the go-carts. I know that we would have a radical time. I know another fun thing...Laser tag! We would have so much fun playing Laser tag. There's also arcades. We would have a lot of awesome times on those too. I hope we can go.

Zach


Story #2

The Party

I once heard...There was a monk in town. His name was Lick. He came to get his friend Stick to go to a party so they took Stick's car to the party. But as they were almost there an old lady with a big and heavy bag was crossing the street. Stick had to slam on the breaks and honk. The old lady swung her bag on the hood of the car. No damage was done to the body, but the airbreather (I think he means carburetor...?sp?....) got a hole in it when the old lady swung her bag. So they had to call their friends to help them fix the airbreather. Once they got it fixed they went to the party that was at Jump 'N' Play and they had a great time that night. The main thing learned from that evening was to watch out for old ladies carrying big bags.


Such a funny kid! His imagination is so clever sometimes! I will have to find some of the other things he has written and post them. Cute boy! 3 1/2 days of school left!!! Zach is totally excited! Anybody have any fun ideas for summer activities? Zach is excited he gets to go to Cub Scout day camp in June. I need to sign him up for swim lessons....completely forgot! Ooops!!

Cute 2 year old sayings and Cookie recipe!!

So this last week, my little Chloe brought many needed smiles to my face with some of the cute things she said. I love this age and how kids are exploring different ways to express themselves....with the exception of the whining and temper-tantrums! So, I wrote down some of her saying and thought I would share.

1. We had some toasted cheese sandwiches the other night for dinner (yes, it was one of those no-cook nights!). I brought Chloe's over to her and told her that I needed to blow it because it was too hot for her to eat. She then said, "Blow samich up!"

2. We were driving in the car one evening and the moon was already showing in the sky, even though the sun hadn't set yet. She had been looking at the moon and talking about it. Then she said excitedly, "Moon driving!" (I think she thought that because it was moving as we were driving.)

3. I was taking Zach to school one morning because he missed the bus. On the way to school, Chloe was looking out the front window and out of no where said, "Jesus over there!! Jesus over there on the grass!!"

4. We had squash for dinner the other night. She kept saying, "No like sqaaaaaash!" Then as she ate it, she realized it wasn't so bad. (Butternut squash is Zach's favorite veggie!)

5. Today as she was getting ready to eat her lunch, Baxter was waiting patiently for his portion to be dropped on the floor. I asked her not to feed Baxter. She looked at him and said to me, "Baxter annoyin' me!"

Super cute girl!!! Now I want to remember Zach's cute 2 year old sayings and write them down. I will see what I come up with.....

Here is the Chocolate Chip cookie recipe that the kids and I made last week for anyone interested... (it makes a lot, so you might want to cut the recipe in half)

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

2 C. shortening

3 C. flour

1 1/2 C. white sugar

1 1/2 C. brown sugar

4 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

1 1/2 - 2 tsp. salt

2 tsp. baking soda dissolved in 2 tsp. of HOT water

Mix.

Add 4 C. oatmeal (regular oats, not quick oats) and 12 oz. bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips. Bake at 375 degrees for 10-11 min. (May not take that long to cook depending where you live.)

Eat and enjoy with a big glass of milk!!

yummmm....cookies....

The kids and I decided to have a cookie baking night. We decided to make my mom's Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies....famous in the Clay house. Zach loves them, but doesn't get them that often.....mainly because my hips don't really need them! Mean mom, I know. I had my apron on, so they wanted to wear one too. I thought they looked cute in their little aprons sitting on the counter.

You may be wondering what the big white thing is. Everytime I have people over at my house when I pull this thing out, they always wonder what it is! It is my Bosch mixer!! Yes, it is ancient - and for a very good reason! It was my Grandma Clay's mixer that I inherited and I love it! I works wonderful! Mom, any idea how old it is?

Finished product!!! Looks yummy, huh! The kids sure enjoyed them and we had a fun time in the kitchen together!

Congratulations, Zach!

Today was a very special day for Zach and our family. Today Zach was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is an exciting occasion and we are very grateful that Zach made the decision to be baptized. We are proud of the example he sets for us and those around him. He is an absolutely wonderful boy and is working hard to make good choices.

This is a picture of family and friends (not quite all of them) that came to witness the big day. My parents and youngest brother and sister drove from North Carolina, and Chris's parents and youngest brother flew out from Colorado to support Zach. We greatly appreciate their sacrifices to come all the way out here. The others in the photo are our neighbors, the Jorgenson's and Stinson's. Chloe is missing from the picture....uh, yeah....Chris and I just kind of spaced it that we have another child running around that maybe should be in the picture. Ooops! =) Anyway, she was also there!!!

We are proud of you, Zach and love you SO much!!!!

Zach says, "One FUNKY lookin' mama!!"

So tonight for mutual we did an 80's Milli Vanilli night!! The youth all had a blast lip syncing to some "old music" - all though, not that old to me! So, here is my little get-up that I pulled together in 10 minutes (thanks, TJ)! Yes, I did the whole scrunchy at the waste of my shirt, borrowed some of Chloe's jewelry, tight-rolled my jeans (so unattractive!! - I can't believe we used to do that!), and had the big hair goin' on - oh, and even the shirt off the shoulder.....well, sort of! Chris planned this event with some of the boys and they did a great job! It was an awesome activity to end Chris's calling as Young Men President! PS - Zach didn't want me to post this picture because he is embarrassed of his mom! Poor Zach!

My Gardening Helper

I have been doing A LOT of gardening lately! I love it and have a lot of fun doing it. Chloe has been my sidekick and does a great job at stepping on the flowers I just planted!!! No, really she has only stepped on a couple. Most of the time she walks around them pretty well. She loves to ride around in the wheelbarrow too! Maybe she will have a green-thumb when she is older! I will try to post pictures soon of everything I have been working on!

Sending many thoughts and prayers

We pray that the McClellan family is comforted this day and throughout the future as they go through this trial. We love you guys and are mourning with you.
http://jordanmcclellan.blogspot.com/2008/03/our-sad-news.html

http://jordanmcclellan.blogspot.com/2008/04/our-date-to-meet-spencer.html

Jordan is my friend from high school. We hung out all the time, and then were roommates our first year of college. We got married 2 weeks apart and had our first baby close together. She lost her second child, as did I. Now she and her husband are going through it again with baby #5. I am strengthened by her courage and testimony and determination to accept Heavenly Father's plan for her and her family. Jordan is a wonderful example to me!

Great to be EIGHT!!!

I can not believe I have an eight year old!!! Wow - the fun times sure do fly by! Zach celebrated his 8th birthday on Thursday, May 1st. We had a good time!

Connor, Daniel, Nicholas and Zach

Then today (Saturday) he had his "friend party." He decided he wanted to go to Jump 'N' Play. There are a bunch of those inflatable bounce/slide things. They had lots of fun jumping, going down slides and playing on the arcades. We then came back to the house for pizza and cake.

Zach has been such a fun kid these past 8 years! He is growing so fast and is turning into such a good kid. He is quite funny and loves to tease....hmm, don't know where he learned that from! =) He is still quite a sensitive and loving boy and loves to just spend time with his family. He is still a "Daddy's boy" - has been since he was a few months old. He can't wait until he is big enough to start his career as a UPS driver or a bus driver. Yes - his life still revolves around anything with wheels! The bigger, the better! Some days he says he will be a semi-truck driver, some days it is the above, and some days who knows! He still has a while to iron that out!

We are so grateful that we have Zach in our family! He has taught us many lessons, tried our patience more times than we can count, and loved us unconditionally when we mess up. He is such a good brother and cares so much about his sisters. He will be getting baptized on May 10th at 4:00pm, which he is extremely excited about! Anyone and everyone is invited!

We love you, Zach and can't wait to watch you grow into an amazing young man! We know you have great things ahead of you and want you to know that you are loved by many - especially your parents!!!

What will Zach be?....

While in MO, we went to a fun exhibit that was called, What do I want to Be? It had all kinds of fun jobs that the kids could act out.
Scientist

Surfer
Barber

Race car driver
Teacher
President of the United States (with a funny hat on)
Bull Rider

Beautiful hair and Sparkly blue eyes

Visiting the Weatherspoon's

Playing at the fountains in downtown Kansas City at Crown Center.

On April 15th, the kids and I jumped in the car and went to Missouri to help out at my younger sister Marci's house. She was not able to lift her little Owen for a bit. It was a tiring, but fun trip and lots of fun for the kids. Marci and Dan put up with us for a whole week and we were grateful for that!

Morgan and Zach didn't always see eye to eye on a lot of things, but for the most part, had a pretty good time together! I got to have lots of cuddle with Owen which was lots of fun for me! He is a total squish! Marci missed his cuddles a lot, but it was sure fun for me while it lasted! Morgan loved having Chloe around to play dress-up and be an older sister to.

Chris was traveling in St. Louis that week, so he ended up driving to Kansas City for the weekend to be with us. That was fun to see him. It made a longer trip home for him, but we were grateful to spend the time with him. The kids and I came home on the 23rd. Marci is doing much better and was excited to have her home and kids back to herself. I would be too after having my crazy family running around for a week! Marci is an amazing mom and has a beautiful family. This is them (and us below) when we went to Bass Pro shop.

It was fun being with Marci's family and getting to see many old friends from my childhood! Now it's everyone else's turn to come to us!! Any takers?......

Is it really SPRING?

Chris and I have anxiously been waiting for Spring to come. We have been so excited to see our flowering trees in action. We love trees and put in quite a few last year while doing some landscaping in our yard. I added a bunch of pictures from around the yard, mainly because my sisters have asked to see them. Enjoy! We have a cold snap coming tomorrow, but after that, the yard is where I will be! I had so much fun on Saturday picking out flowers to put in the yard. I feel like a kid in a candy store! I just can't get enough and can't figure out which one to pick! So much fun! Hopefully it will turn out pretty this year. I think I will add a picture of what it looked like last year....if I can find it.

Yoshino Cherry - white flowers (front yard) and Plum Tree - pink tree (backyard)

We have a tradition in our family where we plant tulips and other bulbs in October on Karleigh's birthday. Flowers have always reminded us of her. This last year, we also decided to plant a tree on her birthday in the area where we someday want to make our "Karleigh Garden."

Here are our newest friends! This mommy and daddy duck have decided that the perfect place to lay their eggs is right next to our front porch. It has been so fun to see these two out in the yard everyday. They are together quite often. I guess it's a sign of true love! Hopefully soon we will catch a picture of little ducklings walking around our yard!! How fun is that!

2007 landscaping - This is before it got fully grown. All the flowers got really big!! I will post this years flowers after I get them all done!

I hope you are having a wonderful spring and enjoying all the beautiful colors all around. I just can't get enough of it and wish it would stay this way all summer long!

I WIN......ONCE AGAIN!!!!!

Are there any other wives out there that can sympathise with me?.....Anyone?.....

So here is the story. Out here in good old Indiana, they put the electrical boxes right in the front yard. I guess they think that they are beautiful and will give character to your landscaping. So....I decided that I wanted to put in a new flower bed around it and plant a bunch of grasses to cover them up. So I did the proper thing and had the utility company come out and mark all the wires so that we wouldn't kill ourselves.

So, my good husband decides to get a head start on ripping up the sod by using our neighbors rototiller (sorry we broke into your garage, Ryan and Carrie).....yes, against my wishes. He assures me that he has worked with all kinds of electrical when he used to be an electrician, and also when he did excavation work. Basically - "Auughh, it's all right, honey. I can take care of this one!"....attitude. So - whatever. He set to work.

And the pictures say it all........yes, he is repairing the AT&T phone line that he totally cut in two!!! Auughhh!! SO - needless to say.....once again.....I WIN, CHRIS!!!! I need to start recording all of these wins that I have been getting lately. I am getting quite good, and he is doing quite a good job at giving me reasons to gloat!!!

Anyway, luckily I have a VERY handy husband with many, many talents and he put it all back together! Yes Chris, I still love you completely....but let's just let everyone know right now.....I WIN!!! (wink, wink)

Beautiful Karleigh Ann

Today has been a day of remembrance of our sweet Karleigh. It was three years ago today that she passed away. We had a good day remembering her beautiful smile, curly hair, and sweet personality. She brought us so much joy and taught us more in her 2 1/2 years than we ever thought possible.

I am a firm believer that blessings come in mysterious ways. For three years now, we have thought that we didn't have any videos of her - not one. It has been an extremely hard thing to swallow because I wanted so badly to see her smile in action - not just on a picture.

Last night, Chris and I watched a little video slide show of our kids that my little sister, Joy, put together for us for Christmas. Afterwards, Chris made a comment about how we needed to get our old videos copied onto disks. Then I commented back about how it sure would be nice to have some of Karleigh. He then said that he thought that we might have some. I was in total shock, and knew I would not be able to sleep until I found out. So, needless to say, I found all of the old tapes and found a lot of different clips of Karleigh on them! All the way from her first bath in the hospital, to the Christmas before she passed away - 2004. I was so excited that I had to call my mom and dad at 11:30 PM and tell her the good news. I then stayed up until 2:30 to go through all of the tapes - scouring them for even brief moments of Karleigh!

My mom said that she had just gotten done saying her nightly prayers and had asked that Chris and I be comforted on this day. Then she got the call from me saying that I had found the tapes! Talk about an answer to your prayers! These were the best present I could have and have comforted me so much through this day. We honestly did not think that we had ANY videos of Karleigh. Why it took us three years to figure it out, only Heavenly Father knows. But I firmly believe that He knows what we need WHEN we need it. And He knew that I needed these tapes at this time. I think I probably have an even greater appreciation for them now than I would have a while ago. So tonight for Family Night, we sat on the couch and went through her videos as a family.

What a joy it was to see her smiling face, to hear her voice and to look into her shining eyes again. What an amazing girl she is. She went through so much, yet was so happy despite sickness and pain. I look up to this sweet spirit and can't wait until I am reunited with her again. She helped me grow in more ways than I will ever be able to express. She helped me have a better perspective on life and have a better appreciation for all I have. I look at her struggling to just hold her head up. How blessed we/I am that I have been blessed with a body that functions properly. How blessed I am to know that she will have a perfect body someday. How blessed I am to have been given the wonderful opportunity to be her mother and to care for such a perfect Daughter of God for a brief time.

I miss her terribly, but have been comforted in many ways throughout this week. From pictures of the flowers coming up in front of her headstone, to supportive calls from my mom, siblings, friends, and beautiful heart-felt gifts from dear friends. I thank everyone for their continued support in helping us deal with the pain that sometimes feels almost unbearable. You all make it so I can get through these times and I am eternally grateful for each of you. I hope someday I can return the kindness that you all have shown to me. I love all of you.

I love you, Karleigh and pray that I will live my life in such a way that we will be together forever.

This is a story that describes Chris and my feelings about our time with Karleigh and dealing with her disabilities. In reality, her disabilities were what gave her the ability to touch so many lives - especially ours. This story can also be related to many things in our life, regardless if we have a child with special needs.

Welcome to Holland
by
Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around… and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills… and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.

Apple Blossoms

This blog is kind of turning into my journal in a way. So if you are reading this today, you will need to bear with me as I get some feelings out. I have a lot of mixed emotions these days.

This is the apple tree in our front yard when we lived in CO. This tree was absolutely beautiful when it was in full bloom! The dark pink buds all over the tree are beautiful, but then when they all open up to these pale pink flowers, it is a sight to behold.

This tree symbolizes many different things to me. It gives the hope that a long cold winter will soon be over. It reminds me of the beautiful nature all around me. It symbolizes to me of how each of us are like these little tiny buds - beautiful in our own way. But then when we humbly let our Father in Heaven mold us into what he knows we can become, then we turn into something amazing!

Lastly, these flowers are a symbol to me of the great gift we have all been given through our Savior's sacrifice. We have all been given the opportunity to be resurrected after we leave this earth. And it will be in a perfect body.

This tree had buds all over it the day that we held Karleigh's funeral. It was an amazing day as we said our last goodbye's to our sweetheart. It was a hard day for sure, but a day of peace. When we came home, this is how our apple tree appeared. Beautiful pale, pink flowers all over it! The buds had opened up that day! It was such a comfort to me that a loving Heavenly Father would give me one last thing that day to bring me comfort - and that was in the form of a pale pink flower - Karleigh's color. I will be ever grateful for that.

I remember my dad was standing there with me and I said something like, "Dad, the tree bloomed today! Look how beautiful it is!" He put his arm around me, gave me a big hug and with tears in his eyes said, "Of course it did, Tracy. Of course it did."