Time to show off our baby!!

So, I have been wanting to get some more pictures up of darling little (or shall I say big) Parker all week, but haven't had a chance to sit down and do it. I am sure those that have kids know what it is like that first week or two with a newborn! Feeding, diapers (getting sprayed if it is a boy!!), no sleep, some sleep, hormones, adjustments, etc. Parker is such a good baby!! He is so calm and rarely cries! Oh, so wonderful! For the most part everything has been going ok, with the exception of his eating. I will save the details because I usually get emotional just thinking about it! That has been quite the challenge this week! Not to mention my raging hormones, lack of sleep and sending my mom home hasn't helped! But I am loving having another little person to squeeze and kiss! Parker is such a doll and I am so glad he has joined our family! Zach and Chloe are in love with him! They love to hold him and kiss him.

Minutes after being born.

2-18-09

Proud parents

(feel privilaged I am posting pictures of me after just giving birth!!)

I love watching Chris with the kids! He is such a good dad!

Parker's first bath.

(This was the only "first" bath I got to see with any of the kids.

They did it right in the delivery room, not in the nursery! It was fun to watch!)

My fabulous MOM!! (2-19-09) She got to stay for 2 weeks! What a blessing she was! I am so grateful for her keeping me sane on many occasions and taking the "mom" load off my shoulders so I could rest! She had to go home on Friday and I miss her LOTS!! I hope I can be as good of a mom to my kids as she has been to me! Thanks, Dad and Joy for giving her up for 2 weeks! I know it is a sacrifice for all of you and I appreciate your support!

Zach and Chloe seeing and holding Parker for the first time!

Look at Zach's proud face!! I love it!

This is what Chloe loves to do all day long!

She sure does love her new brother and has been a big help!

5 days old - so sweet!

2-24-09

8 days old

(look how much he has already changed!! And I LOVE these little pants!)

2-27-09

Yesterday - 9 days old

(sleeping soundly in his swing)

2-28-09

Parker Clay Stimpson

February 18, 2009

9:49 pm

9 lb. 7 oz., 21 inches long

Seriously Annoying...

So - NO - I have not had this little baby yet.....

The hospital called this morning and said that they were full!! They couldn't get me in today and aren't even sure if they will be able to tomorrow! So....I am still pregnant and praying that this baby just wants to come on his own VERY soon....like tonight!! The more prayers, the merrier!!!

THE END =)

Happy Valentine's Day....EARLY!! ... and baby update

I snapped some cute pictures of the kids before church on Sunday. I thought they looked all ready for Valentine's day! I sure do love these guys. They make life so much fun and make me laugh every single day! I hope you all have a lovely Valentine's day this weekend!
Baby update...

I know I have been totally slacking off on posting anything to my blog. I really haven't taken any pictures and we really haven't done anything "fun" that might interest anyone. We are busily getting ready for this new little baby to get here, along with normal life of schoolwork, housework, mom-work, etc. I think the "nesting" period is definitely setting in - although it could just be that I have slacked off on cleaning my house and now it really needs a good cleaning. But, my load of cleaning has actually gotten lighter since I now get to inlist the help of my handsome 8 year old. (yes, there is a story behind that, but I won't go into details about it on here! Let's just say, he is earning some freedom back from his dad and I!) It's a good thing though because I move pretty slow these days and am pretty tired all the time.

Sunday I went to church and got to explain about 50 million times that, NO, I still have not had the baby yet! Yes people - I know I am HUGE and swollen and puffy and did I say..... HUGE!!!!!! But....yes, there is an end in sight! Relief is on the way!! I am checking in to the hospital at 5:30 AM Monday morning (the 16th) to be induced!! I'm scared, but excited all at the same time. My fabulous mom will be here on the 14th to take my place as mommy for a little while! I just love my mom being here! She is such a huge help! I told her she could stay for a month, but unfortunately, she has a life and will have to go back after 2 weeks! I feel quite blessed I get her here for that long though! So, as long as everything goes as planned, this little (unnamed - still trying to figure it out) baby boy will be here on Monday!

Well - unless I get really on top of things in the next bit, I probably won't post for a little bit. I still have lots of baby clothes to wash and fold, diapers to buy and cleaning to do. I will try to get some pictures as soon as I can.

Is she really big enough?

Chloe saw Zach's old bike hanging in the garage when we still lived in Indiana. She has been begging him to get the training wheels put on. That required going to the store to replace the bolts that were missing. With everything that has been happening (plus it being freezing cold in IN), he never got them put on....until Saturday. Oh, the excitement on her face and the endless talking and jumping for joy!!! I wish I had my camcorder on at the time! (notice the Spring-like weather!! Lovely, just lovely! ....for now....)

Zach has been her coach, trying to teach her how to pedal and not just watch what is going on down the street while he pushes her. It is quite fun to watch them! Zach is such a good big brother! He always has been! She still needs lots of practice before she gets it. I can't believe my baby is almost 3!!! (in April)

Sleepy girl....

Last night, Chloe dozed off while eating her German pancakes for dinner. (I know - totally nutritious - but oh, so good, easy and quick!)
The flash woke her up, but she still wanted to sleep. When she realized that we were all standing there watching how cute she was, she started doing different sleeping poses to get us to laugh. It was quite cute. Then of course she had to see them all on the camera when we were done! (she slept in sponge rollers the night before and had beautiful curly hair for church! Such a doll face!)

Arizona Mountains

So when Chris and I flew out here to Arizona in December to look for a house, I was excited to look out my plane window and see beautiful mountains. We have all really missed living next to the mountains since leaving Colorado a few years ago. As we flew over them, memories of Saturday and Sunday drives came back to my mind. We loved to just have an immediate get-away vacation for the day. As I looked down from my plane window, there were portions that looked very green and others that looked a lot more brown. I have been wanting to go up to the mountains since we got here and smell the pine needles and feel the cool breezes.

Two Saturday's ago, we decided we needed a little break from unpacking and the chaos of life. I told Chloe earlier in the week that if we worked really hard all week unpacking and cleaning up, that maybe it would work to go up to the mountains. She was so excited to go on the "bumpy roads!" So that's just what we did. We headed out with our sack lunches and snacks for a day in the mountains. I knew that these mountains were going to be different than the ones I am used to in CO and UT, but never did I imagine it would look like this.....(enlarge picture to get the full effect)....

Cactus and sagebrush!!! Not pine trees and aspens!! Oh, the culture shock I recieved that day! It literally made me thirsty just looking at it!! I drank lots of water that day!

As we spent the day driving on "bumpy roads" (which Chloe ended up hating), we realized there actually is a unique beauty to this new scenery around us. (I am not the best photographer, so this is as good as you get to see this time)We saw many breathtaking outlooks over beautiful valleys and winding streams, a crystal blue lake, many caves and cave dwellings. Too bad it was a 3 mile hike up to this cave dwelling. (look closely or blow it up again)It said on the info. sheet that you needed good balance to climb parts of the trail up to the cave. I am thinking that my balance is a little off these days since I can't even see my feet!! The boys were bummed but plan on coming back to hike it and go exploring.

On the way back home, we ran across an old mining town. Bummer for Zach that we got there just after 5 and the mine had closed for tours. But we had fun walking around and seeing what was there. We thought that for dinner we should get some authentic mexican food - just seemed to fit for the days activities. But my heartburn wouldn't handle that, nor would Chloe. So we ended up getting some Mongolian bbq for dinner which hit the spot perfectly! (Zach loved the endless ice cream he got at the end!)

The End.

One trigger on my list....

So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately on what some of the triggers have been this time around for my going downhill on this rollercoaster of grief. I have done this thinking before, and there are many times where there really is no trigger that I can pinpoint. It just simply happens and I get through it and move on. This time, I think there are actually a lot of triggers that have caused it, but it took a lot of thinking and contemplating before I have understood and noticed them. I don't even know if I am noticing them all either.

There is one, though, in the big long list in my head that I wanted to write down. I have been really trying to get Chloe to stay in her bed at night. For about the last 8 months of being pregnant, I have gotten up 1-2 times a night to go to the bathroom, and then many of those times, I lay awake for quite a long time before being about to fall back asleep. It is tiring, sometimes exhausting, but I am sure not as tiring as it will be in another month or so when I have another little one to keep me up at night.

Chloe has been potty trained now for about 8 months, with the exception of night times. We tried it and I was sick and tired of washing bed sheets, so I decided she wasn't quite ready for the night time part of it. No big deal, right? Well, she now has been waking up when she needs to go to the bathroom at night, (most of the time) but she doesn't think she can do it by herself and then get back in bed. The problem is....when she wakes up, she either hollors for me, or starts crying and screaming. She wakes Zach and I up (lucky Chris can sleep right through it!!). Anyway - I got this bright idea that I needed to get her to figure it all out before the baby is born so that I don't have 2 kids waking me up at night. I bought her some more pull-ups and totally talked it up about what she should do (quitely get up, take care of buisness and get back in bed and pull her covers up) and that she would be such a big girl. And then of course, throw in a treat on top of it....she would get a starburst in the morning if she could do it without screaming and waking everyone up.

The other night, I was sleeping soundly when all the sudden, I hear my little 2 1/2 year old screaming and crying to go to the bathroom. I hollored back for her to get up and go and stop screaming. She did, but then had to bring me her pj's to help get back on. I put them back on and then asked her to go get in bed by herself. Then the crying started again. She wanted to lay by me for a bit. I don't know about you, but in the middle of the night when I am not fully awake and someone is screaming in my ear, it is so hard to be patient. I unfortunately got upset with her and sent her back in her room anyway - not so nicely.

Now here is where this is all going (sorry that little story turned into quite the explanation). As I lay there after she went back to bed, I felt horrible. I had just totally gotten upset with my sweet little girl and she went back to bed feeling so sad and alone. I know there comes a time where they have to learn to do that, but that night really hit me hard. I lay there almost in tears, now fully awake not able to go back to sleep, thinking about how my little Chloe must be feeling. As I laid there, I prayed to know what to do. I prayed and apologized for being a mean mom. I prayed for comfort because I certainly couldn't get back to sleep.

I laid there for about an hour. It was not long before I felt comforted by the Spirit. I also felt that Karleigh was near. But I had many different memories and different feelings come over me. One thing that I have LOVED since Zach was a baby, was to have my kids snuggle with me in my bed. I love to just stare at their profile as they lay sleeping on the bed next to me. I can still picture Zach as a baby with his little button nose. I thought about how Chloe has loved to come and snuggle next to Chris and I, and then felt very selfish that because I wanted a little bit of extra sleep, I made her feel like crap. (so in return, that extra sleep I wanted never happened) I thought about how Zach used to be such a cuddler and gave the best hugs and kisses. Now he is growing up and is almost too cool for that. But where have those years gone? He will be turning 9 in May!! I thought about how Chloe will soon get to that stage where she will be "too cool" for that....maybe not. But I don't want to take my chances of giving it up now.

Then many thoughts came of Karleigh. I remembered holding her all through the night. She would wake up over 10 - 15 times a night - almost every night - most of her 2 1/2 years on earth. Yes, there were many nights that I couldn't handle it - just like this night with Chloe. But I remembered holding her and cuddling with her and helping her feel safe and secure so that she could go back to sleep. I remembered the night before she passed and the time we spent rocking in the rocking chair to help her calm down enough to go to sleep. I can't do that anymore. I can not rock my little Karleigh and snuggle with her. I can't make her feel like she is more important than those extra minutes of sleep. I can't stare at her face and soak it in anymore. I can't bring her in bed with me anymore and hold her close, as that was sometimes the only thing she wanted and then would sleep all night. I can't whisper the I love you's in her ear and tell her how wonderful she is anymore.

So then I thought about my sweet little Chloe that had just gone back to her bed feeling totally awful and sad. And the thought came to me.....It isn't worth it! The feelings that I have caused in her tonight are not worth it! If something were to happen unexpectedly like they did with Karleigh, is this what I want her or me to remember? If I were taken tonight after sending her to bed feeling so miserable - that would be her last memory of me - the last thing she remembers. And, let me tell you - she has one heck of a memory!! (As I sat in her room rocking her in the morning, I apologized to her for getting upset with her through the night. She then reminded me of all the things I said and how upset I was with her and how sad she was!) I thought about the way I treat both my kids and my husband and how they or I could be taken in an instant. Have I acted today in a way that I would be ok leaving them with as their last memory of me? Not just today, but EVERY day?

Let me tell you, I have a lot of work to do!!! I hope that they know just how much they mean to me and just how much I am trying to be a good mom/wife for them. I hope they know by my actions how much I love them - not just by my words. I hope that I am a good friend and a good support to those around me. I hope that I can give more service and be a better person.

The next night, I told Chloe if she woke up, she could quitely come and tell me (without screaming) she needed to go to the bathroom and then I would tuck her back in her bed. (occasionally I will let her still snuggle by me) She woke up and did exactly that. I put her back in her bed with kisses and hugs and I love you's and went back to my bed and fell asleep quickly. That next morning she got her starburst and didn't have any "mean mommy" stories to tell me. =)

I know things are different with every kid and every family. We all tolerate different things. But for me, I may just not get a full nights sleep for quite a while. I hope on those nights where I want to just scream and tell everyone to let me sleep - I will remember this night. I will remember that I won't have my kids as kids for very long and that I want them to know at all times how much I love them. I don't want to take for granted the little precious times that I have with my kids (and husband) becuase there will come a day when I/they won't have each other here anymore. So, if Heavenly Father chooses to bless me with those special times in the middle of the night, I hope I will be more willing to grab hold of them and soak them in - despite my tiredness.

Just missing....

Grief is like a roller coaster. Although the ups stay up for a lot longer in between the lows these days, sometimes the lows come without warning and crash you pretty hard and pretty fast. I am just missing my girl today and wanted to post some pictures for my sake - no one else's.

On a walk in the little red wagon around the hospital after 3rd surgery.

At the pumpkin patch - Oct. 2004

2nd birthday celebration at Grandma and Grandpa Stimpson's house. She loved looking at the candles!

Happy, happy girl while we sit and wait for her dr. appt.

Moving day...

The packers got to our house on Dec. 29th and then everything was loaded into the truck on the 31st. We were amazed at the size of the truck that came!! They did a great job getting everything packed and loaded on time. I asked them if they wanted to stay and clean, but they nicely declined the offer! Bummer!!!

Have you ever seen Extreme Home Makeover? This picture reminded me of..."Bus driver, move that bus!!!

As you can probably imagine, Zach was in heaven being inside this big semi! The driver let him and Chris get in the front for a tour. They said it was like a mini apartment in there. Zach also got to pull the horn a couple times! WOW - talk about loud! The driver had a locomotive horn put on his truck! All the moms in the neighborhood with sleeping children were probably cussing us out since he was honking it right around naptime! Ooops, sorry everyone!

They had to take apart the recliner to load it in the truck. This became Chloe's new slide until they loaded it! She loved it!

This is a saying I had on the wall above the kids pictures. "The greatest things in life aren't THINGS." I started to remove it from the wall, and thought I would just leave it like this for a little while. Read closely. This is how I feel these days being big and pregnant!!

An empty family room!!! Chris and Baxter drove out a few days later headed for AZ. Aside from some really snowy and icy roads in places, for the most part, everything went great. I went to the closing on our house on the 5th, so now my house is no longer my house! It was a blessing to sell it so quickly, but sad at the same time. We really liked our house! The kids and I stayed and finished everything up in Indiana before flying out on the 6th. The Pini's were so kind letting us stay with them. I know it really threw off their schedules, but we are very grateful for their generosity. We had a fun time being with them. The kids and I, along with our good buddy Connor, went to the Children's museum for the last time. It was lots of fun!!

Zach by the Batmobile!!

The night before we left, TJ, Carrie and I were able to sneak away for a couple hours! A much needed break after a hectic day and it wasn't even until 9:30 at night!! So many laughs and yummy dessert!!
Luckily, the truck got here to Arizona the morning of the 6th and unloaded. So Chris was able to have all the beds set up and made by the time we got there that evening. Now we are just living in complete mess as we try to unpack everything.

Zach started at his new school yesterday. I was quite emotional as I dropped him off because I worry so much about him having to make new friends and fitting in. I said many prayers all day long that things would go ok. He is at the point that being with Mom isn't "cool" anymore, so it was almost torture for him to have to walk to school with me!! Oh, poor boy! We live right across the street from the elementary, so he will just walk to and from everyday. He can also ride his bike, which he is very excited about. Luckily, when I picked him up, he said that everything went well and he had a good day. He has made a couple friends already, which shouldn't surprise me because he is such a friendly guy.

I met my new dr. yesterday, and to be honest, was not thouroughly impressed. Hopefully it will get better. I absolutely had the best dr. in Indiana. She was the most caring wonderful lady and was more like a friend, not a dr. I am missing that a lot about this new dr. I have an ultrasound on Monday morning to check the fluid levels (they were a little low), but other than that, everything seems to be going fine. This poor little boy is not going to have a name though!! We can not decide on anything!!!

We are all doing fine out here in Arizona and hopefully will feel more settled soon. It would be nice to have a couple weeks down time before this baby decides to enter the world. I think I am really the only emotional one, but that is most likely because of hormones and exhaustion - and living in chaos. Thanks for the well-wishes and the phone calls!

Christmas 2008

We love Christmas time! It sure flew by extra fast this year though with everything that has been going on. Chloe and Zach were very excited for Santa to come this year and talked about it all the time. Along with Dad's help, the kids made cookies for Santa and his reindeers. Christmas Eve was spent at the Turner's house with many wonderful and fun friends. We had a good time talking, eating, nativity scene reinactment and playing games. When we got home that night, we had a little family time and talked more about the true meaning of Christmas. We also talked about Karleigh and what kind of presents we would have wanted to give her this year if she were still here with us. We missed her like always, but felt her presence near.
This year for Christmas we were all by ourselves without any family around. While we missed being with family, it was a very special day just being together and relaxing. It would be the last day to just veg-out in our house before movers came on the 29th. We woke up to Christmas morning to lots of fun new toys for the whole family. I love watching the kids faces as they see what Santa brought. We had orange rolls for breakfast and then hung out on the couch watching Chloe's new movie, Tinkerbell. Later that day, we met up with the Jorgensen and Pini families for Christmas dinner. Such a yummy dinner and just lots of fun to hanging out. After dinner we played Guitar Hero and showed off our moves....or in my case - my NON-moves!!

The very next day, the tree and decorations had to come down. I usually like to leave up the tree until the first part of January, but this year wouldn't work out that way. Oh well. While I cleaned up other stuff, Chris and the kids worked on taking all the decorations off the tree and getting everything put away. I really think I like this arrangement!!! I put it all up, Chris and the kids take it all down! It was SO nice!!! Perfect ending to a good Christmas! (hopefully they thought so too! =)