Family fun

Zach had Spring intermission (spring break, just longer) from March 9-23rd. We did some fun activities while he was home. Luckily, Chris was in town most of the time, so we got to have him come along as well. We hung out at the park, went to the Phoenix Zoo, Castles 'N' Coasters (a small amusement park), a small hike in Papago park and just enjoyed being together. Here are a bunch of pictures from our adventures.

At the zoo, Brady Barr from the National Geographic channel came to do a presentation to the kids. The kids had a front row to see all the creatures he brought out. No thank you for me! Yuck - snakes!

Chloe was brave enough to sit in the front with Zach, but he had to hold her. Such a good brother keeping her safe!!Zach getting Brady Barr's autograph.
Parker, doing what he does best....just hangin' out. He missed all the animals!These next few pictures need explaining....Chris was asked to go out to the site where they will be building the power plant and discourage the Burrowing Owl from making its home and laying eggs on the site. Why does it matter, you ask? Well, this Owl is on the endangered species list and if they burrow on the site, then construction will be delayed until they have their babies. Since Chris is the first one out here before construction, he got the lucky job. One day, he even got to fight off a badger!
Zach went out with Chris when he met with the scientist to teach him all about what to do. He taught Zach a lot of things while he was there. He got to go out with Chris several times to help probe the holes. They had a great time together being buds.
Castles 'N' Coasters - ridin' the go-carts! One of Zach's favorites!
The roller coaster went right above the track and some of the other rides. It was quite loud being right under it!!Chloe decided she was brave enough for the little roller coaster....until she was on it! She didn't quite like it after it started! Zach got to ride with Mr. Cool that didn't want his picture taken. Sorry dude - that's what you get when I have to take a picture of my son!!! Thanks for being his riding partner though!!Parker did fabulous on this little outing. He was about 4 weeks old. Most of the day he spent sleeping in his stroller. Chris and I just took turns riding with the kids.

Zach is sitting on the end seat. Chloe actually went on this green ride too a little later. She HATED it! Finishing her yummy snack! yum - ice cream!!!This is the front side of the hole in the rock at Papago Park. We hiked up the back side to the hole to look out over the city. Even Parker got to go! He was all cozy in the front carrier.I sure do love hanging out with my family!!!

My beautiful baby....

IS NOT A BABY ANYMORE!!!


This is becoming more and more real to me since having Parker. Chloe is going to be turning 3 in just a couple weeks! It is so hard to actually accept that she is growing up! I have many nicknames for my kids, usually pretty corny. I guess when you grow up with a funny mom that rhymes everything - you kind of tend to do the same thing! My mom has weirder nicknames for all of us kids than I think I do for mine! Zach probably has the weirdest names out of all my kids - poor guy. Maybe that's because I have had almost 9 years to come up with them!! (can't believe that either! - he is almost 9!! Oh, I am getting old, and getting grey hairs to prove it!)

When we brought Parker home from the hospital, I really started to notice just how big Chloe is getting! I would call out to her, "Hey, little baby, can I have a hug?" Or, "Hi babe, did you sleep good?" In other words, one of her nicknames is "baby" and it is just not fitting her like it used to. It makes me sad! But at the same time, she makes me happy, so I can't be too sad about it! But I think she will still always have that nickname even if it doesn't fit! She is just my little doll face, my "little miss!" (another nickname)

Well, a few weeks ago, Chloe and I decided she needed a haircut. So, we headed for the bathroom with scissors in hand and started chopping! It was a little bit longer, but then she was adament that it wasn't quite short enough. So, off came another inch! I attempted to put a few little layers in, but I am not quite sure how much you can tell. I think she looks totally cute, but is now looking even more grown up! Auughh, why did I cut it!!! When I look at the above pictures, I really miss her long hair. I haven't taken the time to try to curl it up, so one of these days we will have to attempt it. I just think I could squish her! She is so dang cute!!!

(thank you to my wonderful Mom for making her darling dress and matching purse, as well as the pink and brown polka-dot dress above! Love them!!!)

Here is just a short little video of her at the park. She decided she wanted to play on the smaller slides this day. I just love listening to her cute little voice, so I thought I would share!!

Chloe's comment...

Tonight before bed with a smile on her face, Chloe said, "Mom, when I be Karleigh, I will not die and go away from you! I will stay with you and hug you and you will be happy!"

Earlier at dinner she said, "Karleigh is up with Heavenly Father."

I guess she was thinking about her sister a lot tonight....Hmmm, so was I.

Time to show off our baby!!

So, I have been wanting to get some more pictures up of darling little (or shall I say big) Parker all week, but haven't had a chance to sit down and do it. I am sure those that have kids know what it is like that first week or two with a newborn! Feeding, diapers (getting sprayed if it is a boy!!), no sleep, some sleep, hormones, adjustments, etc. Parker is such a good baby!! He is so calm and rarely cries! Oh, so wonderful! For the most part everything has been going ok, with the exception of his eating. I will save the details because I usually get emotional just thinking about it! That has been quite the challenge this week! Not to mention my raging hormones, lack of sleep and sending my mom home hasn't helped! But I am loving having another little person to squeeze and kiss! Parker is such a doll and I am so glad he has joined our family! Zach and Chloe are in love with him! They love to hold him and kiss him.

Minutes after being born.

2-18-09

Proud parents

(feel privilaged I am posting pictures of me after just giving birth!!)

I love watching Chris with the kids! He is such a good dad!

Parker's first bath.

(This was the only "first" bath I got to see with any of the kids.

They did it right in the delivery room, not in the nursery! It was fun to watch!)

My fabulous MOM!! (2-19-09) She got to stay for 2 weeks! What a blessing she was! I am so grateful for her keeping me sane on many occasions and taking the "mom" load off my shoulders so I could rest! She had to go home on Friday and I miss her LOTS!! I hope I can be as good of a mom to my kids as she has been to me! Thanks, Dad and Joy for giving her up for 2 weeks! I know it is a sacrifice for all of you and I appreciate your support!

Zach and Chloe seeing and holding Parker for the first time!

Look at Zach's proud face!! I love it!

This is what Chloe loves to do all day long!

She sure does love her new brother and has been a big help!

5 days old - so sweet!

2-24-09

8 days old

(look how much he has already changed!! And I LOVE these little pants!)

2-27-09

Yesterday - 9 days old

(sleeping soundly in his swing)

2-28-09

Parker Clay Stimpson

February 18, 2009

9:49 pm

9 lb. 7 oz., 21 inches long

Seriously Annoying...

So - NO - I have not had this little baby yet.....

The hospital called this morning and said that they were full!! They couldn't get me in today and aren't even sure if they will be able to tomorrow! So....I am still pregnant and praying that this baby just wants to come on his own VERY soon....like tonight!! The more prayers, the merrier!!!

THE END =)

Happy Valentine's Day....EARLY!! ... and baby update

I snapped some cute pictures of the kids before church on Sunday. I thought they looked all ready for Valentine's day! I sure do love these guys. They make life so much fun and make me laugh every single day! I hope you all have a lovely Valentine's day this weekend!
Baby update...

I know I have been totally slacking off on posting anything to my blog. I really haven't taken any pictures and we really haven't done anything "fun" that might interest anyone. We are busily getting ready for this new little baby to get here, along with normal life of schoolwork, housework, mom-work, etc. I think the "nesting" period is definitely setting in - although it could just be that I have slacked off on cleaning my house and now it really needs a good cleaning. But, my load of cleaning has actually gotten lighter since I now get to inlist the help of my handsome 8 year old. (yes, there is a story behind that, but I won't go into details about it on here! Let's just say, he is earning some freedom back from his dad and I!) It's a good thing though because I move pretty slow these days and am pretty tired all the time.

Sunday I went to church and got to explain about 50 million times that, NO, I still have not had the baby yet! Yes people - I know I am HUGE and swollen and puffy and did I say..... HUGE!!!!!! But....yes, there is an end in sight! Relief is on the way!! I am checking in to the hospital at 5:30 AM Monday morning (the 16th) to be induced!! I'm scared, but excited all at the same time. My fabulous mom will be here on the 14th to take my place as mommy for a little while! I just love my mom being here! She is such a huge help! I told her she could stay for a month, but unfortunately, she has a life and will have to go back after 2 weeks! I feel quite blessed I get her here for that long though! So, as long as everything goes as planned, this little (unnamed - still trying to figure it out) baby boy will be here on Monday!

Well - unless I get really on top of things in the next bit, I probably won't post for a little bit. I still have lots of baby clothes to wash and fold, diapers to buy and cleaning to do. I will try to get some pictures as soon as I can.

Is she really big enough?

Chloe saw Zach's old bike hanging in the garage when we still lived in Indiana. She has been begging him to get the training wheels put on. That required going to the store to replace the bolts that were missing. With everything that has been happening (plus it being freezing cold in IN), he never got them put on....until Saturday. Oh, the excitement on her face and the endless talking and jumping for joy!!! I wish I had my camcorder on at the time! (notice the Spring-like weather!! Lovely, just lovely! ....for now....)

Zach has been her coach, trying to teach her how to pedal and not just watch what is going on down the street while he pushes her. It is quite fun to watch them! Zach is such a good big brother! He always has been! She still needs lots of practice before she gets it. I can't believe my baby is almost 3!!! (in April)

Sleepy girl....

Last night, Chloe dozed off while eating her German pancakes for dinner. (I know - totally nutritious - but oh, so good, easy and quick!)
The flash woke her up, but she still wanted to sleep. When she realized that we were all standing there watching how cute she was, she started doing different sleeping poses to get us to laugh. It was quite cute. Then of course she had to see them all on the camera when we were done! (she slept in sponge rollers the night before and had beautiful curly hair for church! Such a doll face!)

Arizona Mountains

So when Chris and I flew out here to Arizona in December to look for a house, I was excited to look out my plane window and see beautiful mountains. We have all really missed living next to the mountains since leaving Colorado a few years ago. As we flew over them, memories of Saturday and Sunday drives came back to my mind. We loved to just have an immediate get-away vacation for the day. As I looked down from my plane window, there were portions that looked very green and others that looked a lot more brown. I have been wanting to go up to the mountains since we got here and smell the pine needles and feel the cool breezes.

Two Saturday's ago, we decided we needed a little break from unpacking and the chaos of life. I told Chloe earlier in the week that if we worked really hard all week unpacking and cleaning up, that maybe it would work to go up to the mountains. She was so excited to go on the "bumpy roads!" So that's just what we did. We headed out with our sack lunches and snacks for a day in the mountains. I knew that these mountains were going to be different than the ones I am used to in CO and UT, but never did I imagine it would look like this.....(enlarge picture to get the full effect)....

Cactus and sagebrush!!! Not pine trees and aspens!! Oh, the culture shock I recieved that day! It literally made me thirsty just looking at it!! I drank lots of water that day!

As we spent the day driving on "bumpy roads" (which Chloe ended up hating), we realized there actually is a unique beauty to this new scenery around us. (I am not the best photographer, so this is as good as you get to see this time)We saw many breathtaking outlooks over beautiful valleys and winding streams, a crystal blue lake, many caves and cave dwellings. Too bad it was a 3 mile hike up to this cave dwelling. (look closely or blow it up again)It said on the info. sheet that you needed good balance to climb parts of the trail up to the cave. I am thinking that my balance is a little off these days since I can't even see my feet!! The boys were bummed but plan on coming back to hike it and go exploring.

On the way back home, we ran across an old mining town. Bummer for Zach that we got there just after 5 and the mine had closed for tours. But we had fun walking around and seeing what was there. We thought that for dinner we should get some authentic mexican food - just seemed to fit for the days activities. But my heartburn wouldn't handle that, nor would Chloe. So we ended up getting some Mongolian bbq for dinner which hit the spot perfectly! (Zach loved the endless ice cream he got at the end!)

The End.

One trigger on my list....

So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately on what some of the triggers have been this time around for my going downhill on this rollercoaster of grief. I have done this thinking before, and there are many times where there really is no trigger that I can pinpoint. It just simply happens and I get through it and move on. This time, I think there are actually a lot of triggers that have caused it, but it took a lot of thinking and contemplating before I have understood and noticed them. I don't even know if I am noticing them all either.

There is one, though, in the big long list in my head that I wanted to write down. I have been really trying to get Chloe to stay in her bed at night. For about the last 8 months of being pregnant, I have gotten up 1-2 times a night to go to the bathroom, and then many of those times, I lay awake for quite a long time before being about to fall back asleep. It is tiring, sometimes exhausting, but I am sure not as tiring as it will be in another month or so when I have another little one to keep me up at night.

Chloe has been potty trained now for about 8 months, with the exception of night times. We tried it and I was sick and tired of washing bed sheets, so I decided she wasn't quite ready for the night time part of it. No big deal, right? Well, she now has been waking up when she needs to go to the bathroom at night, (most of the time) but she doesn't think she can do it by herself and then get back in bed. The problem is....when she wakes up, she either hollors for me, or starts crying and screaming. She wakes Zach and I up (lucky Chris can sleep right through it!!). Anyway - I got this bright idea that I needed to get her to figure it all out before the baby is born so that I don't have 2 kids waking me up at night. I bought her some more pull-ups and totally talked it up about what she should do (quitely get up, take care of buisness and get back in bed and pull her covers up) and that she would be such a big girl. And then of course, throw in a treat on top of it....she would get a starburst in the morning if she could do it without screaming and waking everyone up.

The other night, I was sleeping soundly when all the sudden, I hear my little 2 1/2 year old screaming and crying to go to the bathroom. I hollored back for her to get up and go and stop screaming. She did, but then had to bring me her pj's to help get back on. I put them back on and then asked her to go get in bed by herself. Then the crying started again. She wanted to lay by me for a bit. I don't know about you, but in the middle of the night when I am not fully awake and someone is screaming in my ear, it is so hard to be patient. I unfortunately got upset with her and sent her back in her room anyway - not so nicely.

Now here is where this is all going (sorry that little story turned into quite the explanation). As I lay there after she went back to bed, I felt horrible. I had just totally gotten upset with my sweet little girl and she went back to bed feeling so sad and alone. I know there comes a time where they have to learn to do that, but that night really hit me hard. I lay there almost in tears, now fully awake not able to go back to sleep, thinking about how my little Chloe must be feeling. As I laid there, I prayed to know what to do. I prayed and apologized for being a mean mom. I prayed for comfort because I certainly couldn't get back to sleep.

I laid there for about an hour. It was not long before I felt comforted by the Spirit. I also felt that Karleigh was near. But I had many different memories and different feelings come over me. One thing that I have LOVED since Zach was a baby, was to have my kids snuggle with me in my bed. I love to just stare at their profile as they lay sleeping on the bed next to me. I can still picture Zach as a baby with his little button nose. I thought about how Chloe has loved to come and snuggle next to Chris and I, and then felt very selfish that because I wanted a little bit of extra sleep, I made her feel like crap. (so in return, that extra sleep I wanted never happened) I thought about how Zach used to be such a cuddler and gave the best hugs and kisses. Now he is growing up and is almost too cool for that. But where have those years gone? He will be turning 9 in May!! I thought about how Chloe will soon get to that stage where she will be "too cool" for that....maybe not. But I don't want to take my chances of giving it up now.

Then many thoughts came of Karleigh. I remembered holding her all through the night. She would wake up over 10 - 15 times a night - almost every night - most of her 2 1/2 years on earth. Yes, there were many nights that I couldn't handle it - just like this night with Chloe. But I remembered holding her and cuddling with her and helping her feel safe and secure so that she could go back to sleep. I remembered the night before she passed and the time we spent rocking in the rocking chair to help her calm down enough to go to sleep. I can't do that anymore. I can not rock my little Karleigh and snuggle with her. I can't make her feel like she is more important than those extra minutes of sleep. I can't stare at her face and soak it in anymore. I can't bring her in bed with me anymore and hold her close, as that was sometimes the only thing she wanted and then would sleep all night. I can't whisper the I love you's in her ear and tell her how wonderful she is anymore.

So then I thought about my sweet little Chloe that had just gone back to her bed feeling totally awful and sad. And the thought came to me.....It isn't worth it! The feelings that I have caused in her tonight are not worth it! If something were to happen unexpectedly like they did with Karleigh, is this what I want her or me to remember? If I were taken tonight after sending her to bed feeling so miserable - that would be her last memory of me - the last thing she remembers. And, let me tell you - she has one heck of a memory!! (As I sat in her room rocking her in the morning, I apologized to her for getting upset with her through the night. She then reminded me of all the things I said and how upset I was with her and how sad she was!) I thought about the way I treat both my kids and my husband and how they or I could be taken in an instant. Have I acted today in a way that I would be ok leaving them with as their last memory of me? Not just today, but EVERY day?

Let me tell you, I have a lot of work to do!!! I hope that they know just how much they mean to me and just how much I am trying to be a good mom/wife for them. I hope they know by my actions how much I love them - not just by my words. I hope that I am a good friend and a good support to those around me. I hope that I can give more service and be a better person.

The next night, I told Chloe if she woke up, she could quitely come and tell me (without screaming) she needed to go to the bathroom and then I would tuck her back in her bed. (occasionally I will let her still snuggle by me) She woke up and did exactly that. I put her back in her bed with kisses and hugs and I love you's and went back to my bed and fell asleep quickly. That next morning she got her starburst and didn't have any "mean mommy" stories to tell me. =)

I know things are different with every kid and every family. We all tolerate different things. But for me, I may just not get a full nights sleep for quite a while. I hope on those nights where I want to just scream and tell everyone to let me sleep - I will remember this night. I will remember that I won't have my kids as kids for very long and that I want them to know at all times how much I love them. I don't want to take for granted the little precious times that I have with my kids (and husband) becuase there will come a day when I/they won't have each other here anymore. So, if Heavenly Father chooses to bless me with those special times in the middle of the night, I hope I will be more willing to grab hold of them and soak them in - despite my tiredness.

Just missing....

Grief is like a roller coaster. Although the ups stay up for a lot longer in between the lows these days, sometimes the lows come without warning and crash you pretty hard and pretty fast. I am just missing my girl today and wanted to post some pictures for my sake - no one else's.

On a walk in the little red wagon around the hospital after 3rd surgery.

At the pumpkin patch - Oct. 2004

2nd birthday celebration at Grandma and Grandpa Stimpson's house. She loved looking at the candles!

Happy, happy girl while we sit and wait for her dr. appt.