Dear Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,

My name is Zach. I am a boy and I am already 8 years old!! I live in the great city of Plainfield. But I'll bet you knew that!! This year I've been so good that I should be the angel on top of the tree!

Santa Claus, some things I might like for Christmas this year are:
- black BAJA motorbike
-P.C. and
-ZERO GRAVITY MICRO.

Santa Claus, I almost forgot to say...I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE ALL YOUR REINDEER.

Love,
Zach
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HO!! Ho!! Ho!! Zach!!

Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Plainfield! Ho!! HO!! HO!! We get wonderful CHristmas emails from boys and girls aroudn the world but everyone at the North Pole sure gets excited when we get one from you, Zach!!

My goodness, Zach, I can't believe you're 8 years old already! You're getting to be quite a big boy! I'm really glad you still wrote me though because I'm sure some of your friends have said things about me. Of course, I'll bet they never got a magic letter like this directly from Santa Claus himself! (*wink*) I also hear you've been a REALLY REALLY good boy. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you? HO!! HO!! HO!!) I'm glad you mentioned the reindeer because they're all outside playing reindeer games right now. Did you know you can even vote for which reindeer will guide my sleigh this Christmas?

Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. Black baja motorbike; 2. P.C. and; 3. zero gravity micro. HO!! HO!! HO!! I see there's a bike on your list. That's a great present! Of course, you'll have to promise me you'll always wear a helmet and follow all the saftey rules. Now one thing about a bike is that its very hard to fit a lot of them into the sleigh. So, I hope you won't be too disappointed if we can't fit enough of them in for everyone this Christmas.

Well, it's time for Santa Claus to go do his chimney exercises. Up! Down! Up! Down! Have to be in tip-top shape for the big night! Take care Zach and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve!! And remember...Only 7 more sleeps until Christmas!!

All my love,
Santa Claus

Gratitude...

It is roughly 5 in the morning and I have been laying awake since almost 3:30am. Just as I was trying to get back to sleep, my reflux started majorly acting up. It has been pretty bad the last few days. Even medicine isn't cutting it. Oh, the joys of pregnancy! Anyway - that pretty much woke me all the way up and now I just can't get my mind to shut off. After laying there for an hour or so, I decided I might as well get up and blog about the thoughts that are keeping me awake.

Gratitude. Mixed with some sadness. Let me explain. (lengthy post - read when you have time and interest)

About 2 weeks ago, we put our house up on the market. We honestly did not think anything would happen for a while. Well - Heavenly Father had different plans. Our first showing last week turned into a second and Sunday night an offer had been agreed upon for our house! Let me just say...amazing!!...given the situation in the economy and the time of year. We have been completely blown away with how quickly this has happened and how everything has just fallen in place. We are not quite sure why we have been blessed with an offer this soon on our house. We are so grateful and feel so blessed and watched over right now. So - as long as everything goes through until closing, we will be moving out probably the end of the month and closing on Jan. 5th. Right now we are trying to "calmly" panic and keep the stress level from making us nuts. Chris and I fly out to AZ on Thursday to look for a place to live. Another thing to be grateful about is that we have a wonderful support network here to help with the kids and the dog while we are away. I hope I can stand to be away from the kids for a few days.

I laid there thinking about all the people that I am so grateful for. All the people out here in Indiana that have blessed my life (which moving so far away from has brought me many tears!). All the people in my ward that have done so much for me. All the teachers and school workers that have helped my son succeed. I thought a while about my neighbors and what GREAT neighbors they are. We have about 58 houses in our neighborhood and we know almost everyone. It has been so nice to live in a small neighborhood and feel secure in my surroundings. Many of these neighbors have been so kind and helpful to me as my husband has traveled almost the entire time we have lived here. I always knew I could call any of them to come and help me in a moments notice. I am grateful for them. I am grateful that we were able to live here in this home - even though it was for only a short time.

I thought about all the people in my ward that have been such a support to me. I thought about when we moved out here 2 1/2 years ago, not knowing anyone. I was 5 weeks from having Chloe (same scenario this move too! yipee!), and didn't know what to do, where to go and didn't have a husband home to help. I was still pretty heavy in the grief of losing Karleigh - still not even a year earlier. I think about the amazing women in my ward that came to my aid before and after Chloe's delivery. They took care of Zach for me, brought us meals and brought me friendship - all to someone they had just met. I am grateful for their Christlike kindness and for their friendship over these past couple years. I am grateful that through their service, I have friendships that will last forever.

I am grateful for 2 friends in particular. I am not trying to leave anyone out. I have mentioned TJ and Carrie many times on my blog. Hopefully they won't mind me talking about them. They are two of the most amazing people I have ever met. They are 2 of my best friends and moving away from them has been one of the hardest things I have had to accept in this whole process. (cue the tears!! Here they come!) I just want to tell you about these two awesome people in my life.

First - When we first moved here, we had to move into an apartment for 7 months while we figured out where we were going to live. We lived on the bottom floor which made watching the people come in and out of my stairwell very easy. I noticed a beautiful brown haired woman coming in and out with her darling little blond girl. The thing that always amazed me was her patience with her little girl as they walked upstairs to their apartment behind mine. Her daughter would want to stop and look around in the grass, or look up at the sky, or just be an ornry little 18 month old that didn't want to go inside. This beautiful woman was Carrie! When my mom was out for Chloe's birth, I remember even commenting to her something like, "See that girl out there? She seems like the kindest, most patient and tender mom. She takes whatever time her daughter needs/wants." (I am often the "hurry please, we need to go" type mom!) I thought it would be nice to get to know her and I am grateful that I was blessed with that opportunity.

It was soon after that that we met outside and I knew I wanted to be her friend. Her husband, Ryan, seemed to hit it off with Chris. I remember Chris was out of town on my birthday that first summer and Carrie happened to find out it was my birthday. She made (yes, made) me a little gift (she is so crafty and talented) and asked the kids and I to come up for homemade angel food cake. I was amazed and so grateful. Here was this person I hardly knew making me a cake and gift and helping me not feel so lonely on my birthday. That was the beginning of unending kindness to me since we have lived here.

Then another huge blessing happened. We ended up building our houses right across the street from each other!!! How fun is that!! We could see each other anytime we wanted! It was fabulous! We both love to garden, especially Carrie, so it has been lots of fun to "egg each other on" (as her husband puts it) to go buy more plants and flowers! I also had the honor and privilege of watching Nissa as she lovingly and compassionately cared for her sweet and angelic little Mae. The same sweet tender mom I saw walking her cute Nissa home to their apartment, was the same sweet tender mom that cared for little baby Mae Mae. I am truly blessed and very grateful I had the opportunity to meet and hold such a special little spirit. Mae is a doll baby and is so special. Seeing a best friend go through the same kind of torment and pain that I had just recently experienced about tore me apart. Carrie and Ryan have been amazing through their trial of loosing baby Mae. I am grateful that I have a friend that "knows" how I feel and together we are healing. Such a tender mercy of the Lord in my/our life. The same sweet tender mom that I saw walking her cute Nissa home to their apartment has been that sweet tender friend to me. I love you, Carrie and am so overwhelmed with gratitude for all you have done for me while we have lived here. You are one of a kind and so special to me.

Second - About 3-4 months after we moved here, I remember sitting in Relief Society (the "all women's class") at church and looking back when they introduced a beautiful blond TJ who was holding a fantastically chunky little baby boy, Evan. I remember thinking to myself - "Ok, I need to get out of my comfort zone and introduce myself to her after class. I need a friend and she seems like a pretty cool person." So - I did. We introduced ourselves and figured out our babies were only 4 days apart but very apart on the weight scale! =) Months later, we were called into Young Women's together. She was the second counselor and I was the secretary. We both love working with the girls and each other. It was not an easy calling, yet many blessings recieved by serving with those beautiful girls (of whom I will miss dearly) and with the others in the presidency. I watched as TJ interacted with the girls and wanted to be "just like her when I grew up!" =) We went through many fun times and many trying times in that calling and I honestly know that I would have not made it through if I did not have the support from her that I had. Her concern for the girls well-being is something that I admire so much. She loves those she serves and gave (and still does) so much to those girls. She gave me so much strength in my calling - even after she was put into the stake YW's presidency.

I remember one of the first long conversations we had after a YW's activity (there were many - I will just tell you about one that is near to my heart). It was freezing cold outside. Everyone had left the church to go home. The parking lot was dark. We were just chitchatting outside of the car for what we thought would be a few minutes. This ended up to be a very lengthy conversation....all while shivering and going numb in our extremities. (yes, I know - we should have sat in the warm car) Anyway - I don't remember all of what the converstation started as, but I remember the part that has meant so much to me. TJ asked me to tell her about my daughter, Karleigh. The gratitude I felt knowing that she wanted to hear about my sweet daughter. Not hear with her ears, but hear with her heart. She didn't want to know because of nosiness - she truly wanted to know because she wanted to know who Karleigh was, what she was like, what I was feeling and going through. She let me cry and cried with me. For someone who has never lost a child, she is one of the most compassionate and understanding people I know. And this concern for me and my grief and my pain has never failed. She has consistently been there for me and has let me cry when I needed it. I am so grateful for that.

(it is now afternoon time....couldn't get this all typed early this morning)

We have had some fabulously fun times together! TJ can really make me laugh! Sometimes I think we act too much like sisters. You know the typical, "Oh get a life" type stuff that sisters do.....well, at least my sisters and I do. I remember while in YW's we had a water activity with the girls. What was supposed to be a more controlled activity, turned into a huge water fight - pretty much between TJ and I against the girls. Well - or so I thought!! She quickly turned on me and helped the girls gang up on me! How rude! =)

I am grateful for all the times that I have gotten to hear TJ sing. I wish I had a recording so that I could upload it so I can listen anytime I want! (hint, hint TJ!) She sings like an absolute angel - but often is too hard on herself. As I listened to her sing today, I felt pretty sad that this was probably the last time I would get to hear her for a long time. I just feel the spirit so strong as she sings. What an amazing talent she has been given.

I love you, TJ and am so grateful that you have stood by me through being a blubbering mess many times. Thank you for your unconditional love and for strengthening me by your example. You truly have a special place in my heart forever. I can never thank you enough for the hand of friendship that you have extended to me. You are a wonderful woman, wife and mother and I hope you will always remember that!

There are many others that I could write about. You know who you are. Although living out here has come with it's fair share of challenges, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and the wonderful people that have become a part of my life. So much kindness extended to our family and so much love has been felt. As I laid there this morning, I wanted so badly to make something for everyone and let them know how much I care about them and will miss them. I am most grateful to my Heavenly Father that he has blessed me with the good trials and the hard trials. I have grown in many ways and I wouldn't be the same person today if He had not given me these opportunities for growth. I am grateful that he has blessed me with such a wonderful family - immediate and extended. My husband is just wonderful and has been doing such a good job providing for us and trying to make sure we are comfortable. I am grateful that his new job has cut his traveling down considerably. I can't tell you how many prayers have been answered just on that one subject. I am grateful for all the blessing that I have been given and hope that I can continue to live worthy of the kindness HE has extended to me and my family.

Tracy

Thanksgiving...belated....

I know, I know - I have gotten very bad at keeping this blog updated! Things around here have been quite busy with getting the house white glove clean so we could put it up on the market. Now...keeping it clean....that's another story!!

This year for Thanksgiving, we decided to go out to Raleigh to my parents house. We haven't been back for Thanksgiving since Karleigh was a baby (if I am remembering right) and we wanted to get out there before we moved far away. We decided Thanksgiving would be best because at Christmas I will quite pregnant! We had a great time with the family. My older sister, Mindi, her hubby Ryan and their cute twins, Carson and Kamryn got to come down too. What fun. The twins are only about 3 1/2 months older than Chloe - so they had a great time playing together. And of course all the little ones thought that Zach was hilarious. Aunt Joy, my little sister, always wins out as the favorite aunt! She painted Chloe and Kamryn's toenails....of which Chloe is still showing off today! She LOVES it! If you couldn't find Zach, it was because he was stuck on the Wii! What a bummer for him he doesn't have one here at home!

Here are some random pictures from our trip! (lots of pictures for your viewing pleasure!!)

Chloe and Kamryn helping keep Grandma (and Grandpa) company in the kitchen while they were cooking! Starting to dig in to our yummy dinner. My dad made a fabulous turkey! It was nice to have all the "normal" food this year at Thanksgiving. (Normal meaning - food that we had every year growing up)

After dinner, Grandpa (my dad) chased the 3 little ones around the house trying to tickle them. What fun! The kids had a blast!

The day after Thanksgiving the whole family went bowling. It was quite fun, although....I lost! And guess who won....Kamryn! She is not even 3 yet! I guess it helps to have side rails up and the little the little ball hill thingy - whatever it's called! =) That night, my mom treated Joy, Mindi and I to a girls night out at the movies with Joy's best friend and her mom. It was quite fun and a nice break from the kids. The dads got to stay home and play with all the kids....which ended up being, "Hey guys - wanna watch a movie!" That's ok - at least the little ones were in bed when we got back. We saw Twilight (sorry TJ, I keep forgetting to tell you about that!). I have not read the books, but thought the movie was pretty good. Joy has read all the books, so after the movie she gave Mindi and I the run down on everything that happens.

Grandpa and Zach helping Chloe bowl.

Look at the pro! This brought back fun memories for Chris of bowling with his Grandpa Stimpson. He lived out in Idaho with his Grandparents on the farm for a while to help out. He and Grandpa would stop by the bowling alley almost every evening after farming and bowl for a little bit and then head home for dinner.

Hottness Joy!!

Saturday at the park. The weather had been cool and comfortable all week, until Saturday. It turned cold and rainy. But Chloe had her heart set on going to the park, so off we went!

Thanks Mom and Dad for a wonderful Thanksgiving!! We love coming to visit! I wish we could do it more often!! Thanks Mindi and Ryan for making the drive down. And thanks Joy for being an awesome sister/aunt! We love you all!!!! My house next year!!! Are you up for the drive? =)

Our new lawn decoration...

So.... it's official. See the blue sign in the front yard? Yep - it's a FOR SALE sign!!! Papers have been signed to put our house up for sale!! I can not believe it!! We definetly didn't think we would be moving this soon after building our house (it's been 2 years). We like our house and have many fun memories here and have done a lot of work on it to make it more "our" home.

For those who haven't heard the news...Chris got a new job about a month ago. It is a very good thing and he is enjoying it much more than his old job. It is actually a Canadian company, but we will be moving to AZ (not quite sure about those 120 degree temps!!!). The company has a big power plant that they will be building there. Chris will be working in the project controls side of things. He has been working now for about a month and has really enjoyed it. We have missed him as he has had to go to Canada every week since he started. BUT....we got some good news this week. He will need to wait for his work visa to come through so he gets to work from home for the next 2-3 months! YEAH!!!! I actually will have a husband home in the evenings!! (he will actually be home all day, but I am trying to mentally tell myself that he isn't - so that we don't bug him all day and also so he doesn't mess up my routines!! =) Anyway - It is a huge blessing and many prayers answered! So if anyone would love to help in sending many prayers up to heaven that our house will sell, that would be quite helpful!! We are sad that we have to leave so many fabulous friends here in IN, but know that this is the best decision for our family.

Autumn Family Picture Fun!

Thanks so much to Carrie for taking some fun pictures of our little family! You did a fabulous job, Carrie, even if we were running out of sunlight! These pictures are taken on the bike trail behind our neighborhood. We have spent a lot of time on this trail while living here in IN, so it is fun to have pictures on it!

My children's conversations today...

So - I thought I would jot down real quick a couple things I heard the kids say today. I thought they were cute... You may not think they are as cute as I do, but that's ok. I am the mom. I have to think they are cute!


Zach and 3 year old neighbor boy's conversation when I asked them to clean up their toys....

Neighbor: "But your mom is going to make us clean up all the toys!"
Zach: "No she won't, my mommy is nice."
N: "My mommy isn't." (totally not true)
Zach: "Yes she is! She lets you come over here to play! My mom hardly ever lets me go to friends house to play!"
N: "Why?"
Zach: "I don't know. But, she is still nice in other ways."

I just thought this was a funny conversation between an 8 year old and a 3 year old. I guess both of them think their mom's are mean about certain things. I didn't know Zach felt he was so underprivileged and never got to go to his friends house! Tough life he must have!
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Chloe's conversation today at Hobby Lobby - with Jesus!

She was starting to get sick of shopping and started talking kind of mean and grumpy. So after saying something mean, I said, "Chloe, you need to say nice words, please."

She then turned to the side and said sypathetically, "That makes Jesus sad! Push your smiley belly button, Jesus! That make you happy!" (as she was saying all this she was finding her belly button to show Jesus where it was and how to push it.)

When I asked her why she said that she told me it was because her mean words made Jesus sad and she wanted him to be happy. Something my mom taught me and now I have started pass to my kids is to push their smiley button (belly button) when they are sad. So, I guess, even Jesus needs to do it when we make him sad! Cute!

Happy Halloween 2008!!

We had a great Halloween this year! Out here, they do things differently. The city sets the trick-or-treating time for everyone to be out at. This year it was from 6-9, so we went right at 6 before it got dark so that it didn't get too cold for the kids. It a beautiful night with gorgeous weather. Cool, but comfortable. It is kind of different to go trick-or-treating when it isn't dark, but I actually kind of like it - especially with little kids. Almost the entire neighborhood (we have a pretty small neighborhood) goes out at that time, so it is fun to mingle with all the neighbors as we go. Lots of good people in our neighborhood with lots of fun little kids running around!

Chloe insisted long ago that she wanted to be a princess. Of course she picked that - those are her favorite movies to watch and we tell her that she is our princess all the time! It was fun getting her all beautied up for the night. She picked out this little dress and matching crown. That afternoon, she took her nap in sponge rollers, although it didn't quite work as good as we wanted, so we had to go back over her hair with the curling iron. It is fun to play dress up with my little girl!!! She loves to have her hair fixed. She just sits on the bathroom counter talking to me while I try to make it look cute everyday. Here is our princess!!


And next is our studdly cowboy! I thought he looked great!!! I got his costume done with about 5 hours to spare! He decided about 2-3 weeks ago what he wanted to be. He couldn't figure it out for a while, so then it was a dash to see if we could get it pulled together. We couldn't find any boots that fit him (that weren't $50 either!), so he improvised and wore his dad's!!! It was pretty cute. He shoved a bunch of toilet paper in the toes of it and clopped around all night in those!

Here is the group! Cowboy Zach, Princess Chloe, Pirate Evan, and Cinderella Nissa!
And let's not forget adorbale little Pumpkin Boden!! Such a doll baby and so sweet!!
Hope everyone out there in blogland had a very Happy Halloween!!!

Wanna know a little about me?...

Well - my fabulous friend, Carrie, tagged me yesterday....so I guess I will tell you a bit about me!

10 YEARS AGO I...
- was in a newlywed state of bliss!
- was working as a secretary
- was wishing Chris and I could still be up in Idaho going to school
- was a little homesick
- was trying to learn how to be a wife (don't know if I have figured that one out yet!) and loving spending time with my handsome guy!

5 THINGS ON TODAY'S "TO DO" LIST
- finish sewing on the finishing touches to Zach's costume (yes, I know....I am running out of time!)
- vacuum my house
- take the kids trick-or-treating
- take it a little easier than I have the other few days so my pelvis/tailbone doesn't hurt so much
- read my scriptures

SNACKS I ENJOY
- uh, obviously crappy food I shouldn't be eating!!
- granola bars
- grapes
- yogurt
- ice cold skim milk (HAS to be skim!) (this always seems so soothe my reflux that gets so bad about this point in my pregnancy!)

5 PLACES I'VE LIVED (STARTING FROM BIRTH)
- California
- Ohio
- Missouri
- Idaho
- Utah

5 JOBS I'VE HAD
- kitchen worker in a nursing home
- housekeeper in a nursing home
- secretary
- nurse (not official - but I pretty much was while I cared for Karleigh!)
- MOM!! (my favorite!!)

PEOPLE I TAG
- Saunja
- Brittany
- Amy

Halloween outfits...

On Saturday, I was down organizing in my basement (or shall I say....attempting to organize) and I found some of Karleigh's old clothes that I thought would fit Chloe. I took them upstairs and laid them on her bed. As I was getting her dressed this morning, she spotted these pants and decided that that was what she wanted to wear today. Hey, why not, it's almost Halloween!! As I was watching her walk around this morning, I remembered a funny picture I have of Karleigh in almost the same outfit laughing her head off. I got out the camera and started taking some pictures of Chloe. When I showed her both of these pictures, she thought it was quite fun that she was wearing the same clothes as what her sister had on years ago. I sure do have cute girls!

A Birthday Wish...

Today Karleigh would turn 6 years old! (If you are one of the lucky ones that looks fabulous pregnant and fabulous after just having a baby....just know....I was not blessed with that ability! Look at the baby people - nothing else!!!!) I can hardly believe she would be that old! It is just weird to think of her at that age because kids grow so much from 2 years old to 6 years old. She has been back in heaven longer than she was here on the earth. But yet, at times, it seems like we just had her here. Then at other times, it feels longer than what it really has been.

2 days old

I have really done a lot better with this anniversary than I usually do. Sure, I have had my moments, and as painful as they are - this time I didn't stop them from coming. But usually it is for about an entire week before that is really hard. Maybe it is because there is a lot going on, or maybe it is because time is healing some of my open wounds. Last night I let myself really break down. I let the tears fall freely. I let myself be consumed in thoughts about my daughter. I prayed that I would feel her near. I prayed that I would have peace and comfort.

I let the mental videos of her play in my head. As I have thought about the ones that were "playing" in my head, it was interesting that they have something in common. Her smile and her laughter and her sweetness. I wish I could just upload my mental videos and let you all see her. A smile would undoubtedly appear on your face. It was just contagious!

Full-on amazing laugh!!!

One that I clearly remember was when I was making dinner one night. In our Colorado house, we had one of those big long island/bar counters that attach to the wall. (hopefully you can picture that). Anyway, I had put Karleigh in her wheelchair so that she could watch me make dinner and feel included. She always needed to know that I was right there with her and she loved to be a part of everything and loved to have a conversation with you (in her own little special way). I put her on the other side of the counter (bar stool side) while I was on the opposite side. I got kind of involved in what I was making and kind of didn't pay attention to her for a minute. She squirmed the same way she always did when she wanted some attention. As I looked up at her, I remember this sly little look on her face. She was VERY good at teasing and completely knew what she was doing when she did it!! She had this look on her face telling me...."I bet you wouldn't dare come over here and tickle me!" It was so funny and so magnetic that I obviously had to then do the...."I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you" as I walked slowly over to her with my hands in tickle position! And then I guess you can imagine what happened next. Shear laughter and fun as I went and tickled her overly-ticklish body! Every time I would go back to the other side of the counter, she would give me that sly look again to tell me to come get her! We did that back and forth for a little while, having an absolute blast. Her laugh was SO incredibally full and addicting! Finally, I had to stop or we wouldn't be eating that night! So I stood on the other side of the counter and just did "Boo" over and over and over while I made dinner so that we could keep the laughing going. That was such a fun night! I will always remember how her eyes and smile were that evening.

Another fun story. Chris or I would read a story to the kids every night before bed. Usually Chris would read to Zach and I would read to Karleigh. As Karleigh got older, I thought she would love to be included in the "bigger kid" storytime with Chris. I could read to her anytime, but Chris's time was limited as he was working full time and in school full time. So, I took her in to lay on the bed with the boys - all three of them on the single size mattress! The all scrunched together and started reading and I went into my bedroom to do something.

Now before I tell the rest of the story, I have to give this little background. For those that never knew Karleigh, you have to understand a little about her muscle tone. She was diagnosed later in her life with CP (cerebral palsy). Sometimes she would be very "floppy" and other times her muscles would be so rigid you couldn't move her. She had a very hard time controlling her muscles and getting her arms and hands to do what she wanted. It took a lot of concentration and diligence to get them right where she wanted them. To keep them in that spot was another very difficult thing for her to do. Ok - back to the story....

A little bit later, I hear Chris happily saying, "Karleigh, I can't see!" I went in to see what was going on as Chris was moving her arm off of his eyes. I sat in the doorway and watched to see if she did anything else. Chris continued reading the story. Just a short time later, Karleigh's arm was across his eyes again and he couldn't see to read the story. He said it again, "Karleigh, I can't see!" The look on her face was classic! She was so incredibally proud of herself that she had gotten her arm over his eyes to tease him. She completely knew what she was doing. She did it over and over and over, making us all laugh and laugh. She was such a tease!

I know that my prayers were heard last night as I pleaded for comfort. I know that these "mental videos" came in answer to my prayers. I came down to the computer and decided that I would re-listen to one of the conference talks that really struck a cord with my in the Saturday afternoon session. It was Elder Holland speaking about Angels. You can read is here or go here to the Saturday afternoon session and click on Elder Holland's talk and watch or listen to it...if you are interested. As I listened to this talk, I felt a calm and a peace and a relief from my grief. That too was an answer to my prayers. After that, I was then able to go to bed.

I did not want this day to be a sad day, but when I woke up, I was still somewhat filled with grief. I did not get much sleep because of my lovely 2 year old that likes to, for some unknown reason, get up numerous times and also my pregnant bladder. (no, my bladder is not pregnant...you know what I mean...I hope!) I know that no sleep makes me more emotional. Chris gave me a much needed long hug before leaving and headed out the door for work and to catch a plane (unfortunately for his Grandfather's funeral). Chloe was watching her Barbie movie on the couch, so I asked her if I could lay by her to watch it. She snuggled up with me under the blanket and let me just hold her tight. It was just what I needed right then.
I later talked with my mom and my sister, Marci. I truly have been blessed with the most wonderful family! They let me cry a bit and then told me of a poem that Marci had written for today. It is down below. They were taking treats to their friends and passing on Karleigh's love. I cried as my mom read it to me and decided that the kids and I were going to do the same thing. Thank you, Marci for doing this and inspiring us to do the same.

A Birthday Wish…

We’d like to tell you of a girl we know
Who passed away a few years ago.
This is not a story of sorrow and tears;
Instead, it is one of smiles and cheers.

You see, her life was a gift from our
Father above;
And she taught us all what it meant to love.
Her eyes told a story of promise and hope,
And her giggles could cheer even the grumpiest mope.

Today we celebrate her precious life,
And try to remember there are blessings amid strife.
Although she is missed more than words can say,
Her message of love goes on each day.

So enjoy these treats and as you do,
Remember always there are many who love you.

Karleigh Ann Stimpson
10/16/02 – 4/14/05

Written by: Marci Weatherspoon (my wonderful younger sister)

The kids and I carried on our family tradition that we started the birthday after Karleigh passed away. We plant bulbs, usually tulips, and sometimes a variety. Flowers remind us of Karleigh and the neat thing is, they bloom around the same time that she passed away. It kind of helps to put things into perspective and help us to remember that there is still beauty, despite the pain and grief and longing.

Chris wrote a poem that I will also include in this ever long post. I am grateful for my wonderful husband and children. I am grateful for this day 6 years ago when a beautiful Angel girl came to our home to bless and inspire us. I am grateful for her laughter and her happiness. I am grateful to know that she is still ever near and that I will some day see her beautiful face again. We love you, Karleigh Ann!

Winter’s Discord – Hope Restored

Winter solstice bitter and cold
Our souls sinking in loneliness
Day by day our bodies growing old
God’s plan of Happiness
Hope it restores to our soul.

A seed sowed in strife
In soils fertile with love
Nature’s harmony absent
A flower begins life
A discord to rise above.

Patient and longing
In darkness and silence
Root takes hold
Its shape in forming
All dreams to mold.

Into sunlight she emerged
The bud pure and whole
With radiance to behold
All beauty worth more than gold
Lo, we are made whole.

A mold to fulfill
Petals to show forth
A world to overcome
All harmony to instill
With time all will come.

Petals bent and bruised
Molded dreams dashed
In darkness enters discord
All hope now confused
Our souls lie anguished.

All truth denied
Greater still the hope
Determined to fit the mold
Reality takes hold
Fears now subside.

An eternal flower still
In need of love
All things the same
A discord to rise above
In soils fertile still.

Determination renewed
The mold our souls break
Hope no longer confused
All harmony to make
The world is subdued.

Petals unique with beauty
Spirit pure and whole
Our souls now delight
Shared into community
The burden now is light.

As the sun sets
She withers in strength
Petals bent and bruised
Her life now lets
Again, our hope confused.

Spring returns
All beauty to impart
Each flower in perfection
All discord to depart
Forever in our heart she burns.

By: Christopher Stimpson

Yellowwood State Forest

So about two weekends ago, we decided we needed a break. Chris travels almost weekly and then we spend the weekends working on the house to get things ready to sell (yes, we will be moving - just don't know when...). We wanted to just spend the day having fun with the kids, so that is what we did. We packed a lunch and headed out to the Yellowwood State Forest for a nice little hike. Who's that handsome guy on the bridge?

Such good buddies! Zach is such a good older brother! Chloe just loves to hang out with him and do whatever he does. I hope they always stay good friends!

I love how small Chris and Chloe look compared to these massive trees!

We found this interesting residence on our way....

We then went down to a cute little town named, Nashville and walked around and window shopped. They just have all kinds of cute stuff there. On our way home, we stopped by our local apple orchard, Anderson Orchards to pick some apples and let Zach climb the trees. He was a little bummed that they weren't as big as he remembered them being last year. I guess that is what you get from growing....things aren't quite as big as they used to be!

Where's Zach?....